Quote Originally Posted by KisaiTenshi View Post
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I've been in SSS since my last post, so I'm slowly catching up on all the posts thus far, but I have a moment to respond to this one. My peers have been pretty supportive - in fact, it wasn't really an issue with them because I'm not playing horribly. But looking at my logs (I'm on PS4, so I can't parse myself, otherwise, I'd have more than what's uploaded), I can tell I'm not pulling my weight. I haven't had anybody really call me out on my DPS, but the thing with me is that I've come to hold myself to a high standard. I don't look to other party members to push their DPS, because in Savage raiding, since I don't have a static, the only thing I really care as far as the party goes is that we all get the clear as smoothly as possible. As far as DPS goes when I'm playing SMN, I care that I'm only pulling my weight DPS-wise, which I have not been.

I wouldn't say it's so much as that I'm not enjoying it, but rather, I have a lot of pride. Now, to be fair, I have no idea what kind of numbers I've been pulling lately because none of my logs have been posted since March 7th. But the DPS numbers are similar in the normal Sigmascape fights that have been uploaded recently. So it kinda screws with me that I've been wanting a stronger player base when I myself have been playing far below what is considered average. A poster above you said that this bout of depression was deserved, and perhaps that might be true. I admit that I was completely in the wrong.

But I don't personally judge others parses...never have. Not saying anybody here said that I was, just providing extra clarification.