Confessions of a Toxic Elitist

[Kerwin]

It's the people who use Fflogs to try to prove a point in an argument. It's like their small pea brained minds can't look past the website. I don't need a website to tell you how I play.

[Malzian]

Ask yourself these questions:
1) Has my inability to reach a high percentage of FFLogs inhibited the ability of my group to progress through and clear content?
2) Have I been consistently at this point or have my numbers changed? If they've changed, does it coincide with any changes that have happened in the game that is reasonably beyond my control (battle system changes, job changes, ping increases, ect.)?
3) Has this low percentage in any way interfered with the fun I have had actually doing the content with my group?
4) If I am unable to raise my percentage does that preclude me from participating in future content?

Now don't just answer those questions off the cuff, your first instinct will be to doom-say and lament over them but you need to stop and think long and clearly about them. The problem is that society today extols the virtue of "always being the best in everything you do", but the reality is that is a completely unattainable goal. We hammer it in from grade school all the way through adulthood with all of the testing, entrance requirements, job competition... No one ever can be the best at everything they do all the time, if you were then you would be a perfect being and that type of person doesn't exist.

What you need to strive for, instead, is looking at how much you've improved from previous, and where you have not improved or instead fallen behind figure out the why it happened and how to recover from it. Stop focusing solely on the result, focus on the process, because you can't improve the result by starting at it alone. Giving up won't help either, it's just a quick, easy way out. Improvement only comes with struggle, and it's painful and off-putting, but by giving up to avoid that you're cutting off any chances you ever had of getting better.

Honestly, by admitting your failing you've already taken the first step. Learn from it, be humble and accept that you're not perfect and that is perfectly fine. Only when you realize that you aren't perfect and have room to improve will you be able to... Those that cling to the idea that they are infallible will never improve simply because they will never see the need to do so.

[Ghastly]

SenorPatty has it right, people compare themselves too much to guides and other players instead of asking questions from other (insert class) players.

But yeah back at the start of Heavensward I thought I was a good warrior until someone pointed out I wasn't using storm's path to decrease boss's damage and that made me realize I wasn't as good as I thought. It made me look at every single warrior skill to really understand what they all do and when I should use them.
In the end we can all improve but the improvement should be for us, it shouldn't be to compare ourselves to anyone.

[Moomba33]

Hey Kaiva.
I think we've had some disagreements in the past on what warrants acceptable performance but for what it's worth I've never found your topics annoying.

I know what it feels like to find out you're worse than you think. Back during HW I was trying to clear Thordan Ex in DF on Bard and a group I was in had a healer comment that dps was low. Someone posted a parse and it turned out I was doing like 60% of the damage of the top dps in the group. I was really embarrassed and ended up turning off the game for the rest of the day after the group abandoned.

It took some time for my ego to recover enough to try again. I had saved the replay of the fight (I play on PS4) and watched it later. I saw that I spent a lot of time running around to do mechanics not attacking and lost a ton of GCDs. I tried to force myself to be more mindful of keeping my rotation up on future attempts.

I never became a great Bard if I'm honest. I have a lot of greens and blues on that other site. But I tried to be more mindful of my performance since then.

I guess the point I want to make is to not be so hard on yourself. It hurts to find out you're not doing well but it only hurts because you care enough to do better. And you can improve. If I can graduate to "mediocre" I think a motivated person like you could be great.

[KaivaC]

Oh, don't be afraid to be blunt. I suffer from depression and I'm extremely harsh on myself, yes, but I'm also a writer, so I know to take criticism. I didn't necessarily run into this issue with Deltascape, because I got cocky after O2S and I switched to AST. Definitely a rude awakening. At this point, I feel like I was being hypocritical with my past threads now that I'm really seeing where I stand through parses as far as DPS goes. Didn't think some of you guys experienced anything similar to what I'm seeing now... I honestly thought you guys (the ones I've played with) were just that good.

[Rhus]

Meh, DPS is over-rated if you ask me.
I'd rather run with someone who has low DPS but can do mechanics rights and we chip away slowly at the boss than someone who has amazing DPS numbers but can't figure out that the AOE circle glowing red on the floor is not something you want to stand in. The former might take a bit longer but we will ge through it, clear it and have a good time doing so. The latter is just going to waste mana, be dead more often than not and potentially cause a wipe as a result of poor play.
Funnily enough I was just having this same chat last night as I ran a dungeon with a monk who was in gear 8-10 levels lower than the dungeon and wasn't very good. If you're going to go undergeared, at least be good at your job and avoid mechanics that can kill you. Again, I wouldn't have minded if he done that and the DPS took a bit longer.

I guess all that will be garnered from this topic is you are who you are. you play the game how you play the game. Stop putting everyone on pedestals and trying to do what they do and get those levels. They aren't you and they aren't playing your style or game. There is no fun in always playing catch up to someone else. I've seen your posts around and you seem like a nice enough person from what I can tell. I certainly wouldn't call you a Toxic Elitist if that's worth anything and we all know the opinion of a stranger you've never met on the internet carries the most weight

[Aerlana]

I am depressiv, i have 14 years MMORPG life, with 10 in "hardcore playing" with the focus on top content.
I was sometime bad, sometime good. I speak with the class i did decide to play (never to a class "because it is the best now) so sometime, i was good... and could never hope be top1 damages in my guild

The main thing is being able to accept being bad. Parser are a good way for this because you can see it yourself...


BUT Damages are not alpha and omega of a good player. sometime, loosing a little damages to do perfectly the strategy is far more useful than a godlike DPS. For FFXIV, it is mainly to fast swich to adds, and take as low damages from ennemies technic as possible. Dont just focus on what damages you done but look more point. Parser can show more than just your DPS! If, on the same fight, you take less damages, you request less heal, healers get more time to damages. Same if adds die fast.

Lastly, when you try to be at best performance, there is the temptation to play the best class of the moment, even more in a game like FFXIV where you can change job with no matters. NO NO NO! Play the job you like. if you are dragoon, play it because you like it, not because the parser says you to play it. If tomorrow, you finally prefer to play red mage, play it because you want it! You play a game!

[Maero]

Senor hit it bang on, while yes in the past i have dealt with rude people that made me feel different in general i am my own worst critic.
Also @ Kerwin, it annoys the hell out of me when people always reference fflogs, it's not like a bible of ffxiv

[Aylis]

I'd say no, I guess the best term I use to describe myself is "confidently humble". What I mean by that is I'm confident in what I do yes, but I keep myself at earth's level and don't develop an ego over myself. I am only human after all, I'm not perfect and yes I do make mistakes. I don't let the shake up's get to me to where its eating at my soul to the point of getting really super depressed over it. I like to take those shake ups and turn them into a positive learning experience on how not to let it happen again.

"Winners never quit" and "ego is a persons biggest downward spiral" as they say.

[Jiao]

Would you use a hammer to drill a hole?
FFlogs is a tool, incredibly useful when used correctly.
(Disclaimer, everything I'm about to say is dependent on my information being correct, FFlogs gets really fussy with my phone.)
You have a single recorded kill each on Phantom Train and Demon Chaddernook as SMN. That sample size is far too small to be anywhere indicative of how well you perform.
Furthermore, both of those kills are from March 7th which is really late into the tier. You aren't just ranked against SMN of similar gear level, you are ranked against all SMN who upload. Get some more kills under your belt and start to look for an upward swing in your numbers.

Ideally what you want to see is a steady increase in your performance after each kill. Have a "Just a little bit better this time" attitude.