The mentality of a silent newbie healer/tank in trials/alliance raids...

[Vhailor]

But whenever new content comes out and I go to challenge it, no matter what role I take on, I will always... ALWAYS announce my first time experience in chat. This is a personal rule I make to myself because if I mess up due to a failed mechanic from not being familiar with it, I try not to inconvenience the rest of my group with agitation.

I do the same, though in fairness, there's about a two-week window after content releases in which everyone in a dungeon should expect new tanks / healers. Hell, a notification even appears, so people know there are first-timers whether they say anything or not (albeit there isn't an indication as to who, with damage-dealers typically resulting in less of a headache).

But even as a "mentor," which we get a lot of flak for even being for some reason, I can't stress this enough that if you do not seek help, you will not receive it.

Just my two cents here, but you sound like the type of Mentor the game needs (and SE should enforce this, in my estimation). I suspect the primary reason for Mentors receiving a lot of flak, as you say, is unsolicited help, advice, or spoilers. I know it can be frustrating, but I hope that you remain one of the good ones, and keep quiet unless someone asks. It's vastly more polite, and the audience is almost always more receptive.

Especially since you never stated you were new. If you don't say anything, people will expect you know a fight. So if you keep wiping, people turn toxic, while if the user had at least said something prior, the resulting reaction wouldn't be the same (in most cases.)

Finally, this is the crux of the matter. I'm not willing to completely excuse the 'silent first-timer' here, but nor am I inclined to completely excuse their teammates. There shouldn't be an assumption (it's not an expectation, it's an assumption) that people know a fight if they don't say anything. That's particularly true given that at the start of a dungeon, it's immediately apparent whether or not anyone is new.

If a group, seeing that, chooses to be silent as well, then they shouldn't be too surprised by a number of hiccups on boss fights. They shouldn't expect to be catered to by first-timers attempting a dungeon, in short. Does that mean first-timers shouldn't make any effort to speak up or watch videos? Of course not. But it takes two to tango.

[Miste]

I suspect the primary reason for Mentors receiving a lot of flak, as you say, is unsolicited help, advice, or spoilers. I know it can be frustrating, but I hope that you remain one of the good ones, and keep quiet unless someone asks. It's vastly more polite

That is subjective so it is not the only reason mentor's receive flak.

I've had people tell me not to give unsolicited advice because if I do I am just being elitist and I've had other people tell me that if I am just going to be silent and not actively give advice whenever I see issues then I am a "sh*t" mentor and should not be one. Just because a mentor might give unsolicited advice sometimes and be happily typing to try to help someone does not mean they are not polite.

So honestly the reason why mentors receive so much flak is likely two things.

1. You can't win because if you mentor one way one person likes you for it and you mentor that same way and the next person you come across hates you for it.

2. Some players will get immediately angry if you do something they personally don't like instead of communicating what they want.



So I am sorry, but making this out to be entirely the mentor's fault that they get flak just for talking to people just isn't right. It takes two people to communicate not just one.

If a mentor is silent and you want help? Ask for it.

If a mentor offers you unsolicited advice and you don't want it? Simply say "Thank you, but I would like to learn on my own" and let it go from there

Simple and polite from both perspectives, they communicated to explain without expecting people to be mind readers. Politeness goes both ways here.

[Anarnee]

Nothing frustrates me more than someone that won't ask for help and then isn't understanding of the rest of the groups frustration when something goes wrong.

Yes. PLEASE. Tell someone if you're new. Even if it says someone is new, there could be someone on an alt, no one should have to hold your hand if you don't speak up.

I run stuff blind when it it first released (within 24 hours) so I don't have to put up with that, but after a few days, you can see the annoyance settle in, and I get it that it's new, but other people got with the program, and expect their team to be with it too.

[SenorPatty]

As an ex ff14-ps4 version player, I can tell you how many times I've epicly failed to let people know in time it was my first time here. This was when I had just started playing the game and I didn't have a keyboard for the ps4 (I did get one later).

In general, I do let people know but ever since I've started doing content the moment it gets released, I rarely do so

[Meghann]

I completely agree, I would rather my group know that it is my first time so there is no expectation of me to know the fight, even watching you-tube guides before hand just to get an understanding of what mechanics I might need to be aware of, I also have a macro that lets everyone know that I am inexperienced and I'll do my best, I think it's courtesy.

[AlexionSkylark]

Most people kkep quiet because they are afraid of getting KICKED OUT over being new.
And true honesty? their fear is not unjustified.

[Oscura]

Most people kkep quiet because they are afraid of getting KICKED OUT over being new.
And true honesty? their fear is not unjustified.

Stop fear-mongering.

If this problem was as huge as you made it sound, then more people would complain about it.

[JCT]

I won't lie, I am a silent newbie healer (or was...am...I'm somewhere in that zone)

My experiences have been:
Go into Dungeon or Trial: I am silent, but since I am new the bonus is there. This leads to either someone explaining something or everyone cheers for a bonus and we start with no explanation (lol)
We start dungeon: I just avoid mechanics and heal anyone who needs it. If we die to a mechanic and I haven't figured it out I speak up and say "What happened there" which is usually met with a quick explanation on a specific mechanic.
For the most part I figure stuff out as I play through it. I still do read about fights and watch video guides for big fights, but it's just hard for me to really pick up the mechanics without actually experiencing it in play.
I apologize to all those who had to deal with the random deaths because I am not as experienced (I do this in game after we clear too), but that's just the way I learn things.

[ThirdChild_ZKI]

Most people kkep quiet because they are afraid of getting KICKED OUT over being new.
And true honesty? their fear is not unjustified.

There's nothing wrong with being new. We were all new at some point.

There is everything wrong with not communicating though. Often times, I may offer a crucial bit of information, but the rest, I leave up to experience to teach. Sometimes, failing the mechanic teaches it better than explaining it. And while I won't leave someone new on their own, especially where it can snowball and cause a party wipe, I also know they generally don't need their hand held. Not at lv 70.

[Vaer]

Most people kkep quiet because they are afraid of getting KICKED OUT over being new.
And true honesty? their fear is not unjustified.

In my experience, nothing usually happens when someone says they are new. Someone says they are new. No one else says anything (this is the most likely in my experience), maybe someone gives a bunch of tips and life goes on. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but in my years of playing this game from launch it is very very rare unless they are doing something else that causes them to get kicked like being uncooperative.

I've also seen people flip out when someone tried to give people tips.