is it okay to not enjoy big pulls?

[Mavrias]

Because you're the one tanking, not them.

So?? You chose to tank. You're not taking on some great burden against your will. Yes, it's a game, but, again, it's a team game. If tanking according to your group's desires stresses you out so much, reroll as another role. Tanking is the easiest job in dungeons in the first place at 50, 60 and 70. Hold hate, position mobs, rotate cooldowns and self healing as necessary, do some extra dps if you want. That's it. You're only responsible for the group wiping if you don't do the first three.

[MauvaisOeil]

So?? You chose to tank. You're not taking on some great burden against your will. Yes, it's a game, but, again, it's a team game. If tanking according to your group's desires stresses you out so much, reroll as another role. Tanking is the easiest job in dungeons in the first place at 50, 60 and 70. Hold hate, position mobs, rotate cooldowns and self healing as necessary, do some extra dps if you want. That's it. You're only responsible for the group wiping if you don't do the first three.

Summing things in two words sentences allways end up easy:

-Dealing damages
-Healing a bunch and dealing some damages

Everything seems quite easy when you simplify it to the easiest point.

[Mavrias]

Summing things in two words sentences allways end up easy:

-Dealing damages
-Healing a bunch and dealing some damages

Everything seems quite easy when you simplify it to the easiest point.

I definitely didn't use two word sentences, but sure I'll bite; what makes tanking in dungeons so much more stressful than any other role?

[whiskeybravo]

what makes tanking in dungeons so much more stressful than any other role?

I don't get stressed out per se, but I do find myself procrastinating a lot when I have to run on tank. Even though I enjoy tanking most of the time

1) Screw ups are more visible. As with healing. If DPS flub their rotation or accidentally get clipped by a non-lethal aoe, hardly anyone notices.

2) In dungeon content at least, DPS isn't responsible for mechanics (not that there's a lot of tank mechnics necessarily, but I want to highlight the difference between easy-mode DPS in dungeons vs higher-stress of performing well while there's actual mechanic things that need to be taken care of during raids). For DPS, at least when I used to main DRG and second MNK, dungeons were more about practicing/honing rotations. That's literally about the only thing you have to worry about as a dps in dungeons, your rotation.

3) As evidenced by this whole debate, tanks are the most polarizing role. Tank stance or dps stance? Big pulls or small pulls? Vit or Str? Threat or DPS? No other role is scrutinized to such an extent by the community at large. EVERYBODY has their own opinion of what a tank is and how it should be played, even if that person themself doesn't play tank.

There are a lot of other possible reasons that people have mentioned, and another thing to keep in mind - we are all individuals and as such handle stress in different ways, some people are more or less capable than others at dealing with stress, or find different things stressful in general.

I don't personally find it that stressful, it's more akin to how I feel about like, say, mowing the lawn. No part of my body wants to wake up early on the weekend and spend 2 hours mowing. But once I get started it's fine, and usually over before you know it. So it's kinda like that, not stressful, just:

"Do I haaavvveee to tank?",
"Yes, Whiskey. You only have War at 70"
"/tears"

Then 15 mins later it's over lol

[Wyndam]

So?? You chose to tank. You're not taking on some great burden against your will. Yes, it's a game, but, again, it's a team game. If tanking according to your group's desires stresses you out so much, reroll as another role. Tanking is the easiest job in dungeons in the first place at 50, 60 and 70. Hold hate, position mobs, rotate cooldowns and self healing as necessary, do some extra dps if you want. That's it. You're only responsible for the group wiping if you don't do the first three.

I'm not saying I'm a martyr. Play any MMO and it'll be the same story for the same reason. Precisely because it's a team game you need to trust that your teammates have a reason for doing what they do. I might not pull wall to wall, for example, because I may see the two melee DPS in the group and know they'll lose more uptime dodging AoE than we'll gain from picking up another pack. Or that the healer won't be able to contribute DPS at that point. Or that adding the next pack on top of the pack and patrol I just pulled is going to stack up 3 AoEs which are going to be more groupwide damage than the healer can keep up with. In another game in another life, maybe I knew that pulling a third group of those dwarves meant that the entire party would be stunlocked to death.

It sounds like you're trying to take the opposite argument of "It's my sub, I do what I want," and say, "Yeah, well its our subs and we outnumber you, so you do what we want!" No. Nobody is anyone's boss here. They have their own job to do and as long as they're doing it, leave them alone.

[Mavrias]

It sounds like you're trying to take the opposite argument of "It's my sub, I do what I want," and say, "Yeah, well its our subs and we outnumber you, so you do what we want!" No. Nobody is anyone's boss here. They have their own job to do and as long as they're doing it, leave them alone.

Hey those are all valid points that you listed and all of those would be acceptable reasons for a tank to not pull big. However, the post I was originally replying to boiled down to "you're the tank. Just tell them that you don't want to pull big and if they don't like it they can leave." However the response to that statement should be "no, we'll just vote kick you and replace you, rather than deal with such selfish reasoning."

[MauvaisOeil]

Hey those are all valid points that you listed and all of those would be acceptable reasons for a tank to not pull big. However, the post I was originally replying to boiled down to "you're the tank. Just tell them that you don't want to pull big and if they don't like it they can leave." However the response to that statement should be "no, we'll just vote kick you and replace you, rather than deal with such selfish reasoning."

Well it ends up being the same for the tank : A vote kicked tank will return instantly into a dungeon, while a group of three will wait several minutes before finding a replacement, locked in a dungeon, able to do nothing

[Mavrias]

Well it ends up being the same for the tank : A vote kicked tank will return instantly into a dungeon, while a group of three will wait several minutes before finding a replacement, locked in a dungeon, able to do nothing

Then that tank will potentially find a group willing to go at their pace, and the group in the dungeon can do what they need to do. They can call in a replacement from their FC or linkshells. Sometimes I even leave and rejoin on my tank. It works out for everyone to go their separate ways rather than stay unhappy in the situation together.