I'm just going to throw something out there for you, "Party Leader" This being the person that "leads" the group that they put together. This person obviously didn't know what it meant to be a tank. If you can't accept the responsibility to explain what role YOU expect each person to play in your party you don't have the necessary skills to be a party leader. Ergo, if you would learn how to do your job as a party leader you wouldn't have this problem. However, your admission that you died 4 times, obviously without changing your healing style leads me to believe your incompetence starts at being an effective healer in a party setting, might want to work on that before you move on to bigger responsibilities like leading others.