Think about it like this: Would you rather players to complain on forums or inside of the DF? In my book it is pointless to complain in-game - that just makes things worse. On the other hand forum seems like a good place to provide feedback about your gaming experience.
Premade groups are not solution to the state of DF. It just allows the player to avoid the issue. Some players are okay with that, some are trying to propose changes that could make DF better. Of course there are suggestions that could lead to more actively toxic community, but that is again matter of perspective. Personally I see bigger problem with the passively toxic community - players who are not doing their best while joining groups of random people. I can deal with a jerk, dealing with a person who sux and you don't know what is the reason behind it is much more difficult. There are many players who are exploiting the "it could be a kid, old lady or impaired person" argument and the worst part about it is that this approach is working very well in the current setting.
How do we fix this? How do we make players more responsible for their actions with the current tools? Unless there is a fixed feature that would motivate players to pay attention and play better I don't think we can fix this. For the Party Finder we could maybe talk about server wide black lists, but DF has absolutely no consequences beyond the small chance of getting kicked, which is funnily so low because many players are afraid of being reported for harassment.
It is not nice to label the whole player base "trash". Not to mention that you have to follow your own rules otherwise you would be "trash" as well. There is a difference between wanting players to contribute and the points you mentioned.
The funny thing about your post is that you actually wrote the most important piece in small letters. Having an option to surround yourself with likeminded people inside of DF is something that is missing.



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