A Word of Caution

[Axia_Darkrose]

im sorry you had a rough time with this, i agree with the fact of being cautious with relationships online, not everyone is like this though.

[Morzy]

Im sorry you had it rough.. i personally helped a friend that was abused in a similar way.

[Pomelo]

Wait, what?

You were trying to get an actual relationship from an Eternal Bond personals thread?

I'm totally not trying to trap a male roe myself...

[Kogasan]

It's interesting to see just how many people have met there irl significant others in ffxi. Me being one of them thought I was the only one. Glad to see the other's represent.

[Vespar]

It's interesting to see just how many people have met there irl significant others in ffxi. Me being one of them thought I was the only one. Glad to see the other's represent.

Oh awesome!
In this day and age, you really cant discount social media/gaming as a way to build relations or date. Though I wasnt looking for a significant other during my time playing XI, I ended up with one. Couldn't be happier though!

Even so, not every experience will be like mine, so to others definitely play it safe if you meet online and be cautious.

[_slowpoke_]

It's interesting to see just how many people have met there irl significant others in ffxi. Me being one of them thought I was the only one. Glad to see the other's represent.

It's 2016, and the Internet has been a thing for a while now - in fact, it's an integral part of many people's lives. Many find real friendship or love in or via online games these days, and that's a wonderful thing. Of course - and that is what OP has pointed out - the Internet in general and online games specifically also brings with it a lot of things that you should be a bit wary of and/or careful with (just as you should be in meatspace) and sometimes require new & different approaches to be dealt with.

Online harassment (including, but not limited to, stalking) is a real threat to a lot of people, and many communities (including this one, sadly) as well as most authorities are uninformed (or worse, wrongly informed) and ill-equipped to deal with and handle it, in addition to the issue that many do not take it seriously or even blame the people experiencing harassment. There are a few good resources and organizations who deal with these sort of things - Crash Override being an excellent example - and I recommend getting their help if you or someone you know find yourself the target of such abuse.

All the best to you, OP, and all others who have found themselves in similar situations. May you ever walk in the light of the Crystal.

[Kata]

Thank you all for the supportive and kind words. My problem is that this jerk can stalk me on the lodestone as well. It makes no sense that he has the tools available to him to continue his psychotic behaviour and I'm told to /blist and ignore. When I check my email and there are horribly nasty things waiting for me from him making accusations, attacking me and lashing out it's pretty damn obvious he's still stalking me/my character. Even having the follower request in place does me no good as he's been /following since 1.0

People keep saying things like let it go. Move on. Stop letting him get to you. But my thought is if I stay silent he gets to victimize someone else. I feel horrible for my involvement already in his cheating ways I cannot be part of allowing him to disrespect any other women. I'm sorry but I'm not some pathetic meek sad little girl who's going to slink away and let the monster hurt another gamer.

Question - why is it the community rallies together to spread the word to out those who steal from FC banks, are trash tanks, rage quit mid-dungeon but when the time comes to stand up to a bully it is easier to point the finger at the victim rather than the perpetrator?!

[raela]

Well, while I agree that people shouldn't hope to find ~true love~ in the bonding thread, I'd also like to point out that dating people IRL is no safeguard against cheating/abuse/etc. There are nasty people IRL and in game (hey, we're all people).. And there are some really good liars out there.

Sorry to hear you're having trouble, but naming/shaming is against the ToS no matter what the reason. You could try contacting support with screenshots for in game or lodestone harassment, but they can do nothing about emails.

[Powe]

Hey Op if I was you, I would change your name and change worlds, make it a Lot harder to find a person, and if your profile on the forum is with your main character, delete it so he cant find your new name. Oh also use a fantasia to get yourself a new look, be damn near impossible to find you. Well he could if he had your IP address and try to hack you.

[Powe]

, but they can do nothing about emails.

If the E-mails involve say something about threatening you, you could bring it to the police. Depending on how long he's been sending you that stuff he could be put on a restraining order and possibly be restricted from using the internet.