That isn't true. If you did Void Ark and Alex NM, then you should have at least some 200 and 190 gear + esoterics to buffer. As soon as you are 190+, I'd say you're fine to step into A1S. Keep on doing Void Ark/NM/Eso purchases to gear up as you try to progress.
Partly true, but not fully. There is a large skill gap in this game. I've personally seen people in gear 10-20 ilvls lower outDPS the higher geared person. Knowing and being able to execute your rotation, while handling mechanics, while managing cooldowns/stacks/buffs given down-times of the fight etc does take some skill.
This is limited by cap to prevent people from being in 210 gear in one week. Esoterics are given in almost all end game content, more than just DF. Void Ark, Alex NM, Alex Savage, Thordan EX, Ravana EX, Bismark EX, PvP, Expert Roulette, 60 Roulette, Leveling Roulette, Trials Roulette, PvP Roulette. Heck if you do PvP Roulette (40 Eso) + Expert Roulette (75 Eso) each day, you'll be capped on Eso in 4 days. That's like 45 minutes a day, give or take.
You are purposely refusing to get it, is all. Cross Class skills is actually a great feature of this game, because it encourages you to try out all of the jobs. I found that I liked a lot more of them than I initially gave them credit for. I hated DRG at first, but it was pretty fun after I forced myself to level it up for B4B for my BRD.
I feel you may be leveling inefficiently. It's quite quick to level up - at the very least you can just run Leveling Roulette each day and get a level that way (it pretty much gives ~1 level per run each day sub 50). As for your comment about leves, I could see why you may find it hard to find people to play with.
What I don't get is the lockout clearly promotes elitism, in that only people with statics and of the upper elite are able to even enter - nevermind clear. It kind of goes opposite to the rest of the entire FFXIV mentality. Other than changing how the loot lockout works, I don't see why there would be a problem in having them in DF on release.