Should I Just Quit The Game?

[Fevelle]

Possibly you whine too much, I have no idea in game but if I got a wall of text like that in FC chat I'd mute you.

Oh, the compassion for the other's problems is high in this forum...

[Priya]

Plenty of fish in the sea, OP. If your story is true, that FC sounds like a bunch of drama llamas. Go find others who mesh well with whatever personality you have. Let your freak flag fly, as it were.


As to your "playing to combat depression" part: If you are not already, please get proper help (talk therapy, meds, whatever you need). Please don't use a game to fight this battle. The people you meet here will not always be a boon to any kind of recovery. The game will be less stressful, regardless of company, once the other aspects of mental health are in place. I wish you well.

[F_Maximillian]

Over the years of playing MMORPGs I've found the best way to make friends is to avoid people altogether. The friends I've met are people that I actually bothered to continue interacting with when I would usually not stick around to. Eventually, you'll run into people that will make you ignore your usual policy because something about them will just click with you. Plus, I tend to look for people that I would still talk with outside the game instead of "game friends" that seem close as one can be until you stop logging in and never hear from them again when they have plenty of ways to contact you outside the game. There's alot of dramatic and immature people on the internet just as it is in daily life, you just need to keep on working toward goals and things tend to fall into place. Sounds like you had a bad draw but if you get past it and move on you'll find good friends in the end.

[Nadirah]

Over the years of playing MMORPGs I've found the best way to make friends is to avoid people altogether. The friends I've met are people that I actually bothered to continue interacting with when I would usually not stick around to.

This.

Most of the friends I've made in games over the years I still talk to outside game. I don't have many of them, but theyre good ones. Finally actually hopped a flight this past spring to visit one of them in Europe after 10 years.

[Eye_Gore]

One man wolf pack. No FC here, never had one,and apparently I don't need one. I'm sure many out there are great and the people are great, but it seems like quite a few are just interested in increasing their numbers and could care less about the people in them. Have read a lot of drama on here about different ones, of course though no one hardly post's the good times.

[Nonomas]

/ hugs!!

I feel sorry for the fact that your FC treated you like chocobo dung. They were being a bunch of asses to you, and that isn't fair. I don't think it was your fault, in my opinion; it was your 'friends'. If I were you, I would've shrugged it off and go on. You don't need burdens like them to ruin your experience with this game. There's other groups that'd love to have someone like you and treat you with genuine respect!

Also regarding your depression, I think you should also seek therapy or any meds to combat it as well. I have low-key depression and i'm very much scared to seek help because i'm not sure how everyone else will react to it. I really do wish you well, man. <3

[Atoli]

First off: No, you shouldn't quit. FFXIV has one of the nicer communities, so even if this was a not-so-nice experience for you, if you enjoy the game in general, just find new people instead of a new game

Now to go a bit more into detail:
Of course there is a chance that you just got really unlucky and all the people you met so far were kind of..meh. But since you said yourself that you had the same problem with people from various linkshells, not just your fc, there certainly IS a high possibility that something in your everyday online behaviour drives others away. I don't know you personally, so I'm not going to judge, but at least in my experience, people with depression, social anxiety and the like tend to get...stressful, in games.
I had several aquientances with these problems in the past, and while they all were nice people I had fun with, could talk about the newest anime/music/games/whatever with, vent about school or work together, etc., as time passed, I felt more and more pressured by them. It became an issue of "I might kill myself if I get too lonely" and "Everything else in my life is shit, having fun with you is the only positive thing in my life". As time went on, I didn't log in because I was looking forward to our conversations, it was because I felt worried and obligated to keep the person happy. I just wanted to have fun, no stings attached, not have the responsibility for someone else's life. I became seriously worn out from every conversation we had and felt more and more that I wanted to end it, but it dragged on because I was too worried to cut ties with the person because of that sense of responsibility they had instilled in me, and because they were nice people, not aware of the problem.

Now I'm not saying you act like that, but from the way you described your situation, there is a possiblity that your ingame friends might have felt a little bit similar to what I experienced in the past.

[Anova]

A lot of guilds actually reduce in size with time, so I don't find the fact that people have been leaving yours to be unique. As for why you were kicked out, there's various reasons. It sounds like there was a huge amount of drama going behind the scenes in your FC though and you made a convenient scapegoat. It is stupid, petty politicking, caused mostly by the fact nobody in your FC is communicating with each other.

Honestly, it was them and not you. Also, games are a way to provide escapism for people. You can have fun on them and use them to unwind, but please do not rely on them to cure something like depression. If you have been clinically diagnosed with depression, please get real outside help (even just talking to RL friends about your problems can be good because of brain wiring). Using games to cure it is like using alcohol to cure it. It'll provide immediate effects and help treat symptoms, but can also cause other problems that aggravate your condition.

Also, online friends usually lack a certain personal touch and investment. There are a few exceptions to this, but relationships in MMO tends to be closer to a professional relationship or acquaintanceship than friendship. It's not because online people are mean. People are just hardwired to really care for roughly 5 people in their lives at any given time, and actual face-to-face contact is just hardwired to generate more emotional connections than voice chat or staring at a screen (blame evolution/god/whatever you want).

Also, don't feel like you have to quit the game because of this. If you want a break, take it. But the decision to play the game should be separate from how you feel about the FC and your own personal worth.

[Eothas]

Over the years of playing MMORPGs I've found the best way to make friends is to avoid people altogether. The friends I've met are people that I actually bothered to continue interacting with when I would usually not stick around to.

True, It's interesting that I have met one of my best friends PvPing *against* them. (Not in FFXIV). After several matches, we just started talking with each other near a NPC that exchanges gear, and we spent hours talking. After that we were doing almost everything together. And to think that my first goal was to crush him, lol.

[Iagainsti]

One thing to keep in mind, ppl play games to relax; I personally get done work, have supper with my family, take the dog for a walk, and if the girls don't want to do anything, I make a coffee, roll a doob, and see what's up in Eorzea. Point is, it's best to "hang up" your hang ups at the log screen. Ppl log in to slay monsters and adventure, not discuss RL problems. You'll definitely garner more comraderie if you remember that. Now game on dude, don't quit