do I hafta..

[Spoekes]

unnecessary wall of text

All that you say here has already been answered: Situational awareness.
You as a healer contributing to the dps does not mean letting ppl die. It does not mean "Oh look new player message - gonna focus on dps anyway!".

Yeah healer DPS is not required to beat things but standing around doing nothing if (situational awareness) health is fine is lazy/bad.
Bad like a tank that does not use CDs, but you can keep him up anyway. He could also say "we cleared it anyways", but criticism would be justified.