I did a lot of my relic dungeons in a premade for these exact reasons. I don't like dealing with people's nitpicking crap. Oh no, I forgot to skip the second set of mobs in Hullbreaker Isle! It's the end of the goddamn world! YOU RUINED MY DAY BY MAKNG ME KILL THESE MANTISES! I understand that people have had to run these dungeons multiple times and are cranky, bored, and in many cases very frustrated. I get that. Don't take it out on me, though. I'm probably in the same boat you are, as are many players out in the Duty Finder right now.
I had to run Stone Vigil HM I don't know how many times. I changed roles a few times to shake things up. The runs weren't always 100% perfect, either. Go in as tank? End up with a low geared healer or DPS, end up pulling one group at a time. Go in as SCH? Get a tank that is undergeared for huge pulls but insists on doing them anyway. Go in as BLM? End up with a lower geared tank, have to seriously watch aggro management and end up tanking mobs on half the pulls anyway. You know what? I never took any of that out on the people in the party. I did everything I could to make sure that we finished and thanked them for the run at the end.
For the most part, I go with at least one other person in the party, preferably 2 or 3. Queueing with a 3 man premade is pretty ideal as we can select 5 dungeons and just go with whatever queues first to kind of keep things a little fresher than if we just spam one repeatedly. We also have a majority in the party. One memorable run through Tam-Tara HM, we had a BLM that started facepulling a few things while I was buffing the tank for big pulls. Our tank (not me, I was on SCH) asked him politely not to facepull mobs. His response? "I'm not facepulling, you're just damn slow." I sincerely hope he enjoyed the vote kick back into the solo DPS queue. I'm sorry, but that's just blatantly disrespectful. We had a good laugh over it while we waited all of 30 seconds for a replacement (who was actually an upgrade from the guy that we kicked), then finished the dungeon.
As a tank, I check people's gear at the beginning of the dungeon. I know pretty well how to gauge my pulls. Healer with base relic/zenith/atma? Alright, we're gonna have to take this slower than we're used to. That's okay, the healer can DPS too and it won't be so bad. DPS with lower gear? Same thing goes. Everyone's i110 plus? It's go time. If I solo queued, I'll ask the party if big pulls are OK. If I'm with a couple friends and we only picked up 1 person in DF, it's always big pulls as long as the other player is geared for it.
I think they're referring to AV and DD.