Well the world needs ditch diggers too. Just kidding. Sorry not to bash you, but yeah do not sound like a leader. If what you posted here is true. You're too attached to your people, not a highly regarded feature of a leader, it can be the undoing of your leadership. Not to be insensitive, but its true. I am not a leader of a FC, but in life I am a lead at my work. Have been for almost 20 years now. I have seen many people come and go over the years, but thats life its what happens. One rule about leading a group that may have people leave, make no friends. Do not grow attached to them. You are there to help them progress and answer questions, and show them the way. Also to set an example, lead by example is what I go on.