I feel relying on Quelling Strikes to save yourself from your own hate generation to be a sign of poor damage management.
Um, using Quelling Strikes to mitigate your threat generation is BRD and BLM 101. It basically allows you do to more damage without making life difficult for the tank and healer. Not using it is a sign of being bad. There's basically no reason that you shouldn't be using it as often as you can, weaved in between a GCD when it's available and appropriate.

I never use quelling strikes and never steal aggro in level appropriate dungeons. It's all about timing auto attacks between abilities. When helping with lower dungeons, though, it seems because my gear level is so significantly higher than the tank, my aggro builds up faster, but if I auto attack for a few seconds, it usually counteracts that.
As above, you're not reaching full your damage potential by doing that. Learn to love it, learn to use it appropriately. Realise that it allows you do more DPS, and therefore helps everyone.