What I don't agree with is the statement that apparently you find killing a NM a bigger challenge than making a Dodore doublet +1(example). In my opinion the challenge in killing an nm is
1:getting to high lvl,
2:learn your class,
3:learn about the mob.
Crafting people also have challenges but it's different.
1:getting toa high lvl, slower than battle, cannot grind because you need mats(which needs a battle or gatherer class).
2:your class, getting good skills through guild marks(keep in mind, crafter can't see if a leve gives guild marks), getting the right gear and right stats just like battle class, learn about synthesis, elements, failures, when to use what skill.
3:making sure everything fits together, the leveling, the skills, the other classes you depend on, the mats, make money to lvl your craft.
So I don't agree with you that the person who kills the NM has more right to have the item. Crafter have a right as well because they can actually do something with it.
I see it as the difference between a hunter and his wife. He goes out,tracks a prey and kills it. He comes home and gives it to his wife. His wife then skins and guts it, and uses the meat to cook and uses the hide to make clothing(which the hunter can use).
Also, I doubt that ffxiv will change the way you want it to. I think so because that is one of the biggest differences between ffxiv and other mmorpg's, the advanced, complex and sometimes pain-in-the-ass-complicated-crafting.
However, I do agree they should look for ways to make crafting more fun. Because I think leveling crafting has set a new boredom standard as far as grinding goes.
As far as not trusting a crafter with your epic loot, that is unavoidable. The game has been designed so classes are very depending on each other. Crafters need gathers and warriors for mats. Warriors and gatherers need crafters for equipments. Crafters need other crafters, warriors need other warriors, and so on. It's that dependency that is a foundation underneath this game, and intended as a certain balance.