First off, let me get this strawman argument out of the way. No one here is saying the difference should be like day and night when it comes to how much better the gear is. The only thing anyone has said is that it should noticeable and be worth your time and effort to beat hard mode instead of "Hard mode version gives you 3 more STR over normal mode, derp."
It kills incentive to thrive and better yourself when the work it takes to go through hardcore content does not reflect the reward.
And your "promise" is in fact false. I know plenty of people who can not for the life of them beat Ifrit, Moogle, CC, AV or even the final Job quest that still play the game and enjoy it. Have I ever heard anyone complain about being punished? No. Not once.
And it's funny seeing you talk about the death of this game when one of the nails in 1.0's coffin was catering to casuals WAY too much at the start and the only life it has now is catering to the hardcore who are sticking through with it.
lt;dr Don't try to punish the hardcore because you want them to be brought down to your level. Also, please stop talking like you know how to make a successful FF game and leave it to the dev team.
Please read the first part of my post.