Players wanting the character they, themselves, are playing to be the protagonist is not an 'obsession'. In fact, it's quite correct.
There's the idea that the 'Hero' of the story and the 'Protagonist' are one and the same. This is often true, but is not always true. For instance: Assume that the story is about, perhaps, a noble knight sallying forth on his quest to slay a dragon, with the perspective being that of his squire. His squire, while not the one who achieves grand and glorious goals, still contributes their own unique perspective and position to the story.
Man of La Mancha, before you ask.
It was alright for Wuk Lamat to be 'The Hero', at least in a literary/story construction sense. The problem was that they tried to make her the protagonist. They essentially just had the player character standing there contributing little, if anything, but to serve as Wuk Lamat's hand. We were sockpuppeted by her, and that's the problem.
This leads into my next comment: Our story was not done in Endwalker. If it was, we'd be moving on to new characters to play.
The Hydaelyn-Zodiark story is over. The Ascian story is (theoretically) over. The player character's story is not. The trip to Tural should have been part of that, but because of how hard they pushed Wuk Lamat, it doesn't feel like that to players. It feels deeply, deeply unsatisfying.
Part of that is that for us, the stakes were yanked out from under us and then built up again, repeatedly. 6.55 we're told that the then-unnamed Zarool Ja can't win or he'll bring war to the continent. Then we get to Tural and are told 'yeah we can't build ships and don't have airships'.
...Ooookay. Well then what about-
Gulool Ja Ja: "Yeah if nobody's suited for the throne they ain't getting it."
...Oookay, so there go *our* personal stakes in the story. Zarool Ja isn't going to be a threat. He's not getting the throne, because he's not suited for it and ultimately Gulool knows it. I mean, kudos to the big guy for actually thinking it through- two heads are better than one I guess- but it undercuts our investment. Now the only reason you're sticking around is... Wuk Lamat. It forced the story stakes entirely onto her as a character, and basically erased your meaningfulness in the story for a *hefty* portion of it.
Then Alexandria happens. Sweet! This is your wheelhouse and... why is she here? Why is she taking the lead? Why are we just standing here?
Whatever.
Dungeons! Bossfights! Queen Eternal, Interphos is a banger, let's-
"spheeeen."
...Yeah. That's why Wuk was unsatisfying and frustrating to people.