To my perspective, I'm not doing this to you. When was the last time I posted a picture of a dictionary definition at you and smacked you around with the word for several days in a row, even when the word better fit me than you? I can't think of a time I have.
When was the last time I called you bad at the game, or wanting to be lazy and get clears by doing the bare minimum? I never have. I'm not even sure I've ever called you an elitist that wants to restrict clears from people (I've called Semi that because she's outright said that's what she wants, but I haven't called you that).
When was the last time I was unambiguously snarky to you - that is, not something that could be argued either way, but outright derisively snarky no question at all at you, like without pretext or prodding mocking your ideas or trying to relegate you to a second class citizen status or trying to cite myself as an expert that you needed to listen to because you were not one?
When was the last time I lied about your position outright? (Me saying "you go from complexity to different complexity" is a true statement. You saying I refuse to offer even one case of anything other than "no change" when not only have I said you could have three of the Jobs made more complex, I personally made two such suggestions/proposals MYSELF?) And no, I wasn't "self-defeating" them. If you read threads around that time, literally everything I was suggesting or proposing, you guys all attacked and not one person supported. Me saying that would probably happen again was reflecting the mood at the time, and as I noted, you guys COULD surprise me (each of those proposals are among my only posts in this sub-forum that actually got Likes, and had generally positive responses, even if people were saying they wanted more or wanted something else.)
I don't attack your CHARACTER without you attacking mine first. You're not supposed to defend your character, because the solution is just to NOT ATTACK MINE FIRST and I won't attack yours in retaliation. You don't have to "take it" if you don't start by dishing it out. You don't have to "defend yourself" if you don't attack me first. Moreover, you aren't defending yourself when you're attacking me. You're attacking me. You aren't saying "That's not a fair representative of my position" when you're saying "You've never done this thing (that I have done and even proved that I'd done)". That's an attack, not a defense.
.
Look at what started this latest fracas:
YOU insisting I was inflexible and ME defending my position as being not only flexible but far more flexible than your own AND ASKING YOU to stop calling me inflexible. RIGHT THEN you could have said "You know what, I'm sorry. You're right, you've been flexible. I just get frustrated because I wish you were more so, but in all fairness, you really have been. I'm sorry for calling you names instead of discussing the merits of your arguments."
But you didn't do that.
You chose to, instead, accuse me of being high and mighty ("god-given right", "something you own", "your graceful charity"), accuse me of false charity (the whole, if you're getting WHM the way you want it, of course you'd be fine giving the others up and you aren't suffering to do so), accuse me of being selfish (when a person gives ground on 75% of their position, they aren't being selfish), CONTINUE to accuse me of being inflexible (again, 75+% ground given is not inflexible, " you and are completely inflexible to any and all ideas") even after I clearly asked you not to do so, accused me of being lazy, bad, and trying to measure up to other people who are better than me (" The only difference is that you can't try to claim you're better than other players for just hitting one button"), lie about my positions ("you believe there's no humanly conceivable way a healer could ever be more enjoyable than they are right now"), insisted, at the end of a post of you deriding and insulting me (all those qoutes were from ONE SINGLE POST alone, btw, not me collecting you being mean to me over the course of many - which you also were, so I can get even more than this) that _I_ am the one preventing cordial conversation ("Are we allowed to talk about that yet and move onto a a productive conversation?"), and ended that post with an absolute dick move finisher ("Or are you still shoving your fingers in your ears and chanting "LA LA LA! I Can't hear you!"?")
Again, all the quotes in that paragraph are from ONE of your posts. JUST one. Where you're acting like I'm the bad guy preventing civil discourse. Read that post again and ask yourself is someone was saying that about you, even if THEY thought it was true, if you wouldn't feel insulted and incensed - AND MOREOVER - if you wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself instead of coming to them to shake hands and make nice?
YOU wouldn't accept that. One time I said "No! Bad Ty!" and you used that as an excuse for 3-4 pages of bicker and refusing to apologize for you lying about my argument for the prior 3-4 pages and admitting you weren't even reading my posts so that the misunderstanding and vitriol was entirely your own fault up until then.
You start these fights almost all the time with me, you escalate them, and you literally never apologize for it. You act like it was my fault, that you were entirely innocent, and that I'm the one preventing civil discourse, even as I'm able to have civil posts with most other people here.
You can't say it's just me, since I've never had a fight like this with ForeskaenRoe or Sabezy. Because they DON'T do that.
Do you need more? Do I need to refer to quotes from more of your posts? Here's another set of quotes from just one post:
"You can keep being wrong about what "inflexible" means ", "but the records actually show that you are wrong", "Listen to someone who actually works in the field" (a position you, yourself, pointed out wasn't fair since you won't say what you work on so I can even verify you work in the field, much less see what you're working on since I might find it enjoyable),"then you got pissy and told me you weren't speaking to me anymore", "you just were ignoring my answers time and time again" (which I wasn't, and this is also rich coming from the guy that literally admitted to not reading my posts AT ALL before...)
...do you think that attitude and tone fosters civil conversation? Not to mention you were arguing in that post that it was easier to tune and balance 9 (effective) new Jobs vs just 1, something that was so far out that Roe joined my side on it pointing out just adding a new Job would be far easier - despite you speaking from a high and mighty position of "I'm a game designer, I know what I'm talking about, you don't, so listen to your better/the expert explain it to you." I noticed you dropped the argument after that - proving what I always say: If OTHER forumgoers would take my side now and again or reign in people out of line who AREN'T me, it actually does result in more productive discourse.
I wish people would do it more often.
It's almost refreshing that Sabezy and Roe have both done it recently. If only it was more common, we wouldn't have this toxic environment we now do. But that means there's hope...
In fact, it was that post that seemed to start our dispute here, and then your other post where you went ham on the insults. Though it wasn't the start. Notice I wasn't insulting you. The only thing _I_ had been doing was defending myself by saying I'm not inflexible and comparing our positions to show that you were the one being inflexible, if we were determined to use that insult, and further, asking you to stop using it. I wasn't even trying to just call you names over and over again. I was pointing out the name you were calling me more fits you and literally asking you to stop:

Originally Posted by
Renathras
How could I be more flexible than that?
Meanwhile, your position has consistently been change must occur.
...
And what part of me changing my position seven (eight? I'd forgotten about the WHM proposal) times me being inflexible?
Especially when you say you supported one of the changes?
You need to stop with these petty insults. Especially when they're lies and you're describing what you do as an insult against me. I've shown far more change and flexibility on this issue than you have. I don't know how going from "change none of the healers" to "change all of the healers just leave one SOMEWHAT alone" is inflexible on my part.
Though it might come off as an attack, this was after several posts of you calling me (or things I said) stupid and insisting I was inflexible, among other things:
"This is like complaining that a room is too dark to be used as a guest room because the lights are off. Have you tried turning them on?", "The entire argument originally was to try find some way to compromise with you who is entirely unwilling to compromise an inch for the sake of conversation", "But saying that Conjurer or any other class "Cannot" be used is literally stupid", "and aren't trying to bargain with a forum white knight for some peace and quiet"(oh yes...I recall THAT comment particularly setting me off, mainly because it proved you were arguing in bad faith all this time and just trying to shut me up!).
So I didn't instigate the insult war such that you needed to defend yourself and were just an innocent bystander I attacked out of the blue. You actually started the attacks in the first place. First from wanting to shunt me to a second class citizen "Class" instead of a Job (even if you DID genuinely think it would be easier to implement, you have to realize how it seems classest - er, no pun intended - and that there would be a lot more ridicule to people playing a Class and not "a real Job"; you're a smart guy so you cannot be ignorant of the connotation there), but then just calling me stupid, inflexible, a white knight, and so on.
You literally started the fight, probably because you were still heated that I stopped responding to you in a separate thread, where you were being evasive and not answering directly a question asked, and then posted a condescending FLOW CHART
after I cut off that line of communication and said I didn't care anymore because even _I_ could see it wasn't going to be a civil conversation and, unlike you, I tried to end it/retreat/back down, which you took as license to press the attack instead of come together in the semi-civility of "let's just both walk away". It's like picking a fight with someone who asked you an innocent question, and then when they try to be "the bigger man" and walk out, you call them names and then sucker punch them in the back of the head, and then chase them down the street into another building to call then names some more...and then when they call you out, act like you weren't the one being aggressive/offensive.
As the posts in this thread clearly show, you were taking shots at me with snide remarks and insults, and did so for several posts escalating in your rhetoric, well before I blew up at you. And then, when I tried to be the bigger man AGAIN by not biting your bait post, where in response to
Roe asking for civility, you spent basically an entire post attacking me again (I'd provide quotes but I'll just link to the post since it's pretty much all a combination of lying about my position - which I proved by the two threads - and insulting me:

Originally Posted by
ty_taurus
...
, you can click the little blue >> arrows there to load the whole post), what did you do?
You spent not one:

Originally Posted by
ty_taurus
If you want to appear as the better person, maybe don't do what you're trying to accuse me of doing?
Not two:

Originally Posted by
ty_taurus
Oh yeah. I'm definitely the childish one in this exchange.
But THREE:

Originally Posted by
ty_taurus
Serous question, since you'd rather bicker than actually talk about the design discussion, why is it that you're allowed to do this to me and not get flack for it, but when I do it trying to defend my character, I'm the bad guy? I'm 100% serious here, you do this to me constantly. Like am I supposed to take it? Am I not allowed to defend myself when you attack me? I'm just trying to understand the double standard at play here.
...posts, with the first two egging me on MORE and the third one being a faux attempt at "I'm just defending myself". Keep in mind that these were in response to me saying "I'm going to try to walk away from his posts", "I do feel I must defend myself and set the record straight by pointing out these two links" (your response was to try justifying your lie, instead of apologizing for it, by insisting I wasn't being serious in those posts or was self-deriding them...instead of just admitting you were wrong to say I hadn't compromised; you needed this to be true to preserve your ability to continue to insult me as inflexible, and that was more important to you than apologizing for being wrong on the facts OR even just letting the argument go uncontested), "You started yet another post with an insult, please try again", and "Roe, I'll let you say something; maybe you can get some civility here where I cannot".
So after I blew up at you for being a dick to me, you spent a further three posts insulting and egging me on, and a fourth one acting like you were the innocent bystander to me being an abrasive jerk picking fights with you and insulting your honor.
.
The standard is simple - if you're cordial and respectful to me, I'm pretty much always going to respond in kind. If I say something that seems sarcastic, just ask me to clarify what I mean and if it's fair and called for or not. I'll probably either realize what I said wasn't sarcastic but might have been misinterpreted as such, and walk the statement back, or I'll explain what I meant more carefully/clearly.
.
Does THAT explain the problem here?
You never apologize even when caught in a lie or at least being factually wrong (it's possible someone can just be wrong and not realize it; that's not a lie but when it's shown they're wrong, they shouldn't keep scrambling for ways to say "Well, no, actually, I'm still right...because I'm going to accuse you of bad faith to add yet another insult in my attempt to justify continuing to call you the insult I refuse to give up in THIS thread"). You always start fights with me in these threads. You're the first one to be snarky and sarcastic and insulting. You look down on me very clearly. In just this thread you've called me lazy and stupid while citing yourself as an expert (my better), even when other people point out your analysis is wrong, you don't even admit it, you just ignore it and move away from the argument quietly while leveraging new insults. You have a really bad habit of introducing an insult and then using it like a cudgel, bashing me with it over and over again, even when I point out it doesn't apply to me and/or more applies to you and even after I ask you to stop. And you will stretch yourself into a rhetorical argument version of a pretzel to justify still allowing yourself to use the insult, even using lies, and stretching yourself into a pretzel to insist they're true even after they've been debunked, so that you can keep using said insult.
...when you could have just let the insult go, or better yet, NOT USED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
.
/pant
/pant
Do you get it now?
You pick fights.
You're mean.
You're insulting.
You get really petty.
You refuse to give direct answers to questions if you feel the answer will weaken your argument, even when I assure you by my own personal admissions (weakening my own) that it won't and even when I have no record of using it as such.
You refuse to back off.
You attack me MORE when I back off.
And you never ever EVER admit you're wrong, doing anything you can to save face, and even using that TO FURTHER ATTACK ME, even after I HAVE WALKED AWAY FROM THE FIGHT.
And you never apologize, no matter how over the top you are in being a total dick to me, instead presenting your argument as totally fair and me as unhinged - as you might after this, though everyone can see the quotes above and see that it isn't true.
.