AST - Tips On Destroying Swords in " A Requiem for Heroes" ?

[Renathras]

I'd rather NOT hash this out in this other fellow's thread, but here we are... <_<

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It's so weird because I feel like I could say this exact same post to you...

Also, I HAVE said "I see we have a misunderstanding, here's what me saying that means..." to try and clear things up. I've done that MANY times. I think I've even had a "I'm sorry I wasn't clear enough/etc" or the like some of those times, too. I'll also note that I've never received that from anyone here other than, oddly enough, Roe. Though that was a post in General, so. And I have FREQUENTLY been the "Can we move on?" person. A few people have said it on rare occasion, but I've said that many times here. I've also used the exact language you've used to me and you saw it as defamation, so again, this works both ways. (Also, I'd have to see the specific case, but as I recall, you tried to use my words against me to make that point and I either (a) didn't see it as defamation, stymieing your gotcha effort, or (b) pointed out how it doesn't apply - I KNOW I've done that several times.)

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Not to put too fine a point on it, but:

"For example, like a week ago or so there was someone who didn't fully read a post I made in regards to the auto-battle concept and was making a comment about ways it wouldn't work based on misinformation. Rather than writing a 1200 word response on what a lying and deceitful person she was for not reading my post correctly, I very simply tried to clarify what I thought she didn't read correctly in a few words without any "you're actually wrong and this is why" type language, and the conversation resolved peacefully. Why is it that can happen with other players, but not with you?"

Do you not recall a few weeks ago when you admitted - after arguing with me for several posts - that you just WEREN'T READING my posts? Where I very clearly said what you were saying I didn't to the point you were lying about what I said on the basis of not having even read my posts to know they were a lie? To the point SOMEONE ELSE in the thread pointed out to you it was not a good look? Not only did you not apologize for it, you took it as a point of pride in the face of being called out for it - by someone else who was not me - even after I pointed out with multiple posts to make sure it was entirely clear what I HAD said (that you hadn't read) and you kept insisting you were right (at first) then defended yourself not reading it and actually tried to use you not reading it as an attack against me, and then finally insisted I was calling you a dog (when I wasn't AND told you outright I wasn't) so that you could avoid responsibility and save face without an apology?

When a simple "Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I probably should have read your posts before contesting them and I did accidentally misrepresent your views because I didn't read them" would have diffused the entire situation? Or, baring that, just NOT having replied "countering" posts that you didn't read and where you were saying the same thing I was saying in my posts and saying that I wasn't (hence lying about my positions)?

Why is it that can happen with other players, but not with you?

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I feel like I could take the exact post you just wrote and say it to you. In fact, I think I will:

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There is a difference between criticism and defamation. Criticism, whether about ideas, methodology, behavior, etc is neutral language meant to address a conflict or weak point in something. Defamation is heavily opinionated language based on nothing with the intention to harm or belittle someone. If a person is being rude, saying "hey, you're being really rude right now. You're out of line for saying that." Is criticism. "Get your ugly face out of this chatroom you dumb hog." is defamation.

Over the last year, it feels as though conversations have a distorted perspective of what is criticism and what is defamation, where criticism is anything you say to address others you don't agree with and defamation is anything anyone else says to you when they don't agree with you. You only speak in criticisms, everyone else only speaks in defamation, even when the language is identical. I've also used your exact language you've used to me to address something you've said, and you still saw that as defamation--something you were adamant was purely constructive criticism when you spoke it to me. You can, of course, deny that and accuse me of lying and being inflammatory which I'm used to at this point, but why not actually at least consider "what if what he's saying is genuinely how he feels about the way I talk and approach conversations?"

If you want to be the better person in the argument, how come you've never even said something like, "Alright, I'm sorry that's how it came out. This is what my intention was, can we move on?" Even if the person you're speaking to is just as capable of doing the same, how come you've never done that here? Why not be the bigger person regardless of who's right or wrong? You can throw that back at me, sure, but that doesn't mean you aren't capable of that as well.

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As I said to you over a year ago, I like the way you think, and I think we both think and approach problems similarly. But somehow, dealing with you in particular is infuriating because you do those things so much and you're free with your criticism, but you don't do it yourself and you don't offer those criticisms to people with whom you agree, only those you do not to make them look bad. And it's frustrating trying to talk to you when you forget things that I've said, overlook faux pas of yourself or people you agree with, never seem willing to apologize or even back off a point when mistaken (much less admit it), but will constantly shift the burden to me and that I should do all these things. In general, if you know better than someone, the onus is on you to act responsibly that way, not to insist others do it while not doing it yourself and refusing to do it unless/until they do.

It just makes it frustrating because you're so close to someone I could have good conversations with if it wasn't for you seeing everything as an attack/insult/defamation that isn't, and if you would be consistent in your moralism across everyone, not just the people you disagree with. (Neither of these points are unique to you, btw, just you are a frequent offender of both.)

Like I have great conversations with people in the Tank, DPS, and General threads, so it's not "just me". It's something about HERE and the people here that's different, and you guys even act a bit different when posting in those other areas where you don't have this perception of majority somehow.