is it "cheating" if you have different ingame wifey/gf than irl wifey/gf?

[ronibosch]

I'm assuming that it's not about the marriage. It's not even about the pixels! I can't believe I'm having to explain this.

Having someone you're close with in-game, that you interact with in a flirty way, and have an emotional connection with, while being in a relationship with someone IRL, is cheating. Hell, it wouldn't even need to happen in-game! Just a normal chat platform like Discord would be enough.

I feel like people who think it's OK either don't actually care about their relationship all that much, or they think it's only OK if they're the ones who are doing it.

Yeah, it's essentially having another relationship with someone, long-distanced.

I'm not afraid to admit that I would be very upset if my partner was talking to someone in that way. Like, I'm right here if you need affection.

If I can't offer that to them anymore, or vise versa, then I'd rather we talk about it. If that doesn't work, then the next best option is to end the relationship.

[Reinha]

As I said, it's just a matter of perspective and caring about your partner being happy. If he wanted to date someone else (which I have offered to him multiple times) then I'd be happy to let him have that. He chooses to still stay with me because of how he feels about me. My happiness is ultimately what matters to him and having me in his life matters more than just having me to himself and me being miserable.

For the record, I'm also demisexual which is a form of asexuality, so I don't place sex as a high priority in my life. So, maybe others wouldn't be able to resist but for me being in love is an emotional experience rather than a sexual one. I get more fulfillment from having a conversation full of affection rather than having someone be inside of me.

To offer another perspective:

I'm not demisexual so physical and emotional intimacy have an equally high priority for me in a relationship. I need both from the person I love and my husband would be insulted and hurt if I tried to get either from another man. For you emotional experiences matter the most. Why, then, is your irl man ok with you sharing the thing that gives you the most satisfaction with someone who isn't him? And knowing that being with him makes you miserable? I can only imagine the look on my husband's face if I told him those two things and how painful it would be for me to have caused it. When someone is ok being second priority I wonder if that's because he/she has never been anyone's first priority.

[TomsYoungerBro]

It for sure is by definition, but if the people involved know about everything and are consenting then it is what it is. That's their business xD

Not sure how anyone can live like that. Not being against visitation yet we all know what humans end up doing when they're in love and physically attracted to one another. Sounds more like they also have someone else on the side and are for that reason fine with it. A healthy relationship does not require any or even feel the need to wanting multiple persons. The way I was raised and what I see around me with family and friends it's definitely not normal or based on preference to have multiple romantic relationships at once.

Maybe it's different because of culture in other parts of the world? Idk.

I agree with this sentiment here. I don't think its healthy at all either, but those couples in that situation can experience that themselves

[Remish]

This feels like a backdoor way of asking "Is ERP cheating."

[Renalt]

Titanmen never stops with his alts does he ? How many alts do you need my guy ? Really makes one wonder how many accounts you pay for monthly just to troll

He might have troll intentions but even a broken clock is right twice a day. This thread is actually sparking a decent discussion...even if it was by accident.

[Gwen_Lavellan]

.... .... Chloe don't you dare say it
......

Don't lie you don't have a gf wifey in real life, if your wasting time making dumb post and not with her, your a jerk.
But you don't

So ya.. If my bf was posting stupid stuff like you do I'd slap him

I was coming here exactly to say this, so Ty ! :3

[hagare]

ask your partner.

Just recently husbando disrespected me for a cat girl, just need to vent.

well if he's baring his heart out to the catgirl and not you. well....
a shoulder to cry on, is a *beep* to ride on

Speaking as someone actively in that situation, my irl knows everything and is accepting of it. He also doesn't view it as cheating. His line is drawn at me going and sleeping with my online partner (physically, however visitation in general is something he isn't against) but whatever happens online is fair game. He has his reasons for it (a majority stemming from him working insane hours and hardly being around outside of a couple hours at night) and doesn't hold it against me that I have another person to fill the needs that he himself has admitted he can't. That doesn't mean he wants to take the dramatic step of just calling off our six-year long relationship, but he loves me enough to know that the point is everyone being happy. He's happy and I'm happy. It's a pretty easy life and has been going on for about a year now.

I also know of several pairs that engage with others online but separate it from their irl relationship. What I mean by that is, in blunt terms, it's just sex. There's no feelings behind it. It's just RP. Who they are as a couple irl isn't reflected by their fake personas.

There's no right or wrong answer here, just a matter of preference and what each person is comfortable with. If you're rigidly mono then yeah, it won't be for you. There's nothing wrong with that either. If you fall more in the middle (where I am because I swing back and forth between wanting one person and multiple), it can go either way. Those who are fully polyamorous won't see an issue at all with that as long as boundaries are respected.

dang girl. Your life sounds like a doujin xD
I'm happy you both have each other.

[RobynDaBank]

Holy mother of oversharing.

[Sotaris]

This thread depresses me

Same.

Holy mother of oversharing.

Um. Sharing is caring?

[SassyAssassin]

ask your partner.

well if he's baring his heart out to the catgirl and not you. well....
a shoulder to cry on, is a *beep* to ride on

Yeah……I know what she was attempting, don’t know if she succeeded or not… if she succeeded, I hope it was a hairy guy behind those pixels