is it "cheating" if you have different ingame wifey/gf than irl wifey/gf?

[BluexBird]

Technically it isn't really cheating if your IRL girlfriend/wife decides to marry someone else in-game.

Because by that point, the relationship is already over.

[LianaThorne]

Not sure how anyone can live like that. Not being against visitation yet we all know what humans end up doing when they're in love and physically attracted to one another. Sounds more like they also have someone else on the side and are for that reason fine with it. A healthy relationship does not require any or even feel the need to wanting multiple persons. The way I was raised and what I see around me with family and friends it's definitely not normal or based on preference to have multiple romantic relationships at once.

Maybe it's different because of culture in other parts of the world? Idk.

As I said, it's just a matter of perspective and caring about your partner being happy. If he wanted to date someone else (which I have offered to him multiple times) then I'd be happy to let him have that. He chooses to still stay with me because of how he feels about me. My happiness is ultimately what matters to him and having me in his life matters more than just having me to himself and me being miserable.

For the record, I'm also demisexual which is a form of asexuality, so I don't place sex as a high priority in my life. So, maybe others wouldn't be able to resist but for me being in love is an emotional experience rather than a sexual one. I get more fulfillment from having a conversation full of affection rather than having someone be inside of me.

It's okay if you don't get it or see how it could work. That's fine, you don't have to. It's just what works for me and those in my life choose to stay. Could he or I change our minds at some point? Of course. It's a reality that we both have accepted.

As far as cultural differences, all I can really speak on is that I find it to be more accepted here, especially in the past two years. Before I even considered this lifestyle, I found myself finding more people (in FCs, media, etc.) that were engaged in it.

[LianaThorne]

I hope this isn’t out of the comfort zone so please don’t answer if it’s too much but…..you ERP with this guy, and your partner is ok with you seeing him IRL but you can’t sleep with him IRL, ok I understand that but……how do you go to see the guy you just did the deed with online and nothing happens between you guys? Isn’t there some chemistry left? A hint of curiosity? If your partner can’t fulfil you because he works a lot, is doing that just with someone online “enough” without ever having a danger of translating to “real life”?

My previous post will answer some of that.

As far as the other, it's just something my online partner accepts out of respect for my irl and out of respect for me. Does he wish it was different? Of course. But I matter more than that and having me in his life matters more than being able to sleep with me.

[Boblawblah]

Well this is a sad thread.

[Shinkuno]

Does he wish it was different? Of course. .

So he wants to be with you, you know that, and still let them visit despite having a partner Irl already. In my eyes thats kinda weird.

[LianaThorne]

So he wants to be with you, you know that, and still let them visit despite having a partner Irl already. In my eyes thats kinda weird.

And that's fine if you view it that way and your relationships don't have to mimic my own. Just, it is what it is with mine and the people in my life are accepting of it and still choose to be with me instead of seeking something different. In my eyes, that's all that matters. If it ever changes where one or both want to, then I'd let them go because them being happy is what matters to me. Will it hurt? Absolutely, but it's not my place to hold anyone hostage if they want to leave. As I said, I've offered outs to both and they both would rather stay. Could my feelings change in the future to where I could only want one? Yes. They still would rather stay.

I'm probably not going to answer any further questions on it, just was giving my perspective and I think what I've said already is all that I can really say on it. Wish everyone a lovely day. c:

[BluexBird]

Obviously, the people who are OK with it are the ones doing it themselves.

HOWEVER, I bet you they wouldn't be OK with their actual IRL partner doing it to them. That's the worst part about this whole situation. I've seen this type of hypocrisy happen in open relationships. It's no different here.

[ronibosch]

Wait, are we talking about marriage in-game or having an actual relationship with someone in-game?

If the latter, uh...why not get your gf/wife in real life to play with you? If not, sexting is an option. The pixels in this game, mods or not, aren't that titillating.

[Shinkuno]

And that's fine if you view it that way and your relationships don't have to mimic my own. Just, it is what it is with mine and the people in my life are accepting of it and still choose to be with me instead of seeking something different. In my eyes, that's all that matters. If it ever changes where one or both want to, then I'd let them go because them being happy is what matters to me. Will it hurt? Absolutely, but it's not my place to hold anyone hostage if they want to leave. As I said, I've offered outs to both and they both would rather stay. Could my feelings change in the future to where I could only want one? Yes. They still would rather stay.

I'm probably not going to answer any further questions on it, just was giving my perspective and I think what I've said already is all that I can really say on it. Wish everyone a lovely day. c:

Obviously i dont know you or them, but since you know they want more out of it there there is a good chance they just stay around in hoping you break up and them having a chance, and if they ever find a different opportunity to engage in a relationship theyll drop your ingame marriage.

[BluexBird]

Wait, are we talking about marriage in-game or having an actual relationship with someone in-game?

If the latter, uh...why not get your gf/wife in real life to play with you? If not, sexting is an option. The pixels in this game, mods or not, aren't that titillating.

I'm assuming that it's not about the marriage. It's not even about the pixels! I can't believe I'm having to explain this.

Having someone you're close with in-game, that you interact with in a flirty way, and have an emotional connection with, while being in a relationship with someone IRL, is cheating. Hell, it wouldn't even need to happen in-game! Just a normal chat platform like Discord would be enough.

I feel like people who think it's OK either don't actually care about their relationship all that much, or they think it's only OK if they're the ones who are doing it.