The people we met

[indigo_imp]

So yeah, assuming I don't get banned anyway, I don't really want anything to do with the social element of the game anymore. I was never particularly comfortable with the social side of things in the first place - it isn't something I've ever found easy in any setting - and the experiences I described really have put the nail in the coffin because I've been made to feel disposable, gullible and stupid.

I just wanted to say, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I personally think reaching out is quite difficult, as I have to deal with social anxiety popping up quite a bit. So it's awful that you ended up in a situation like that. I lurk here mostly but your posts are very thoughtful. I hope you get the will to try again in the future. If you'd like someone to chat to just ping me in-game.

I've had a similar experience regarding making mostly acquaintances. I had met a couple of people while going through the MSQ that really pushed me further. The first one was when I was just a starting arcanist. I've always had a bit of trouble getting past the first phase of MMOs, where it feels like there isn't as much you can do. That person and I were both attacking a goobbue together, then one of us reached out and we went through the rest of the quests. They definitely helped me get more engaged. The second person and I met at the end of ARR and eventually ended Heavensward together. Unfortunately though after that our schedules didn't match up as well. Still, it was nice to go on that journey together. It would be nice if there was a way to do more of the MSQ together with someone.

Recently I've made about three friends, though it didn't come easy, and who knows if that'll continue. I've noticed that most people tend not to reach out to me, it feels like I have to initiate conversations typically. Otherwise they'd just be another person on the friends list, that I might not remember in a few weeks. I'm not sure why that is. It can be discouraging sometimes to feel like I'm the one who has to put the effort in. I guess it might be that they want to escape the social pressure, or maybe it's just awkward to try and start up a conversation after the first meeting and most people won't try to. It feels like the step from that to a more substantial friendship isn't an easy thing, I haven't figured it out yet. It does sometimes work out though, at least from my recent experience. I feel it requires a lot of effort, and building up courage/resistance to handle rejections, at least for me.

[indigo_imp]

Bumping up the thread to add a positive experience I had recently. I was out doing my long-delayed Ninja quests, and saw someone was out fishing with a glowing rod. I waved, and soon we were chatting for a few hours about a variety of topics including jobs, shows, etc. They're a very nice person and had plenty of suggestions for me about content I could do. I finally decided to actually start Hildibrand as a result, which I think I'm going to enjoy a lot I also learned about Big Fishing from them, and that got me back into fishing as well.

We've developed a friendship since then, and it's quite nice to have someone to chat to every once in a while. It's interesting to see what can happen sometimes when you reach out!

[Carin-Eri]

I just wanted to say, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I personally think reaching out is quite difficult, as I have to deal with social anxiety popping up quite a bit. So it's awful that you ended up in a situation like that. I lurk here mostly but your posts are very thoughtful. I hope you get the will to try again in the future. If you'd like someone to chat to just ping me in-game.

I've had a similar experience regarding making mostly acquaintances. I had met a couple of people while going through the MSQ that really pushed me further. The first one was when I was just a starting arcanist. I've always had a bit of trouble getting past the first phase of MMOs, where it feels like there isn't as much you can do. That person and I were both attacking a goobbue together, then one of us reached out and we went through the rest of the quests. They definitely helped me get more engaged. The second person and I met at the end of ARR and eventually ended Heavensward together. Unfortunately though after that our schedules didn't match up as well. Still, it was nice to go on that journey together. It would be nice if there was a way to do more of the MSQ together with someone.

Recently I've made about three friends, though it didn't come easy, and who knows if that'll continue. I've noticed that most people tend not to reach out to me, it feels like I have to initiate conversations typically. Otherwise they'd just be another person on the friends list, that I might not remember in a few weeks. I'm not sure why that is. It can be discouraging sometimes to feel like I'm the one who has to put the effort in. I guess it might be that they want to escape the social pressure, or maybe it's just awkward to try and start up a conversation after the first meeting and most people won't try to. It feels like the step from that to a more substantial friendship isn't an easy thing, I haven't figured it out yet. It does sometimes work out though, at least from my recent experience. I feel it requires a lot of effort, and building up courage/resistance to handle rejections, at least for me.

Thank you!

To be honest, I've simply resumed playing solo and minding my own business. I do still have some consistent friends, including the person who convinced me to try the game, but otherwise doing all I can to avoid the social aspects.

[Liam_Harper]

And the second one I was kicked out of the other day, due to a situation where one of the FC members basically Catfished me (not financially I'll add), told the FC leader that I harassed her and reported me. So waiting to see whether I'll receive a ban at this point, since I was told that they were going to report me.

GM's have access to chat logs so if this person sent in a false report it's more likely they'd get banned instead. They probably didn't send anything and just wanted to scare you.

I'd say it's for the best you got out of that FC if the leader just issues bans without proof or talking to both parties. I wouldn't give up on the social side of the game though, there are quite a few really nice FC's out there among the bad ones. I'm not sure about Phoenix but I know there are some in EU that are quite relaxed on any social pressure and happy to let you do your own thing and interact as you feel like.

[Carin-Eri]

GM's have access to chat logs so if this person sent in a false report it's more likely they'd get banned instead. They probably didn't send anything and just wanted to scare you.

I'd say it's for the best you got out of that FC if the leader just issues bans without proof or talking to both parties. I wouldn't give up on the social side of the game though, there are quite a few really nice FC's out there among the bad ones. I'm not sure about Phoenix but I know there are some in EU that are quite relaxed on any social pressure and happy to let you do your own thing and interact as you feel like.

Well, I'm guess that - since I've heard nothing further on the matter - then you are right, and they didn't send anything. Still, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

[Jettinson]

Probably when i joined to the small FC and back when i was still at ARR!
Met 2 fun and funny players that lead me to join them in the FC, after that i wanted to contribute something even though i was still green and they told me of taking care of the garden could be a way to do that... at that point i thought i needed to be a Botanist for that so i paused the MSQ and went real hard on gathering... after a while they mentoned it wasn't needed for that job.
Many things happened but overal getting in that FC lead me to an enjoyable MMO experience, it is not like i did everything with them but i liked sharing my MSQ experience and so on.

Ah i miss those fun times.

[indigo_imp]

Thank you!

To be honest, I've simply resumed playing solo and minding my own business. I do still have some consistent friends, including the person who convinced me to try the game, but otherwise doing all I can to avoid the social aspects.

I understand. Playing solo/limiting your interactions definitely has its own appeal. I'm happy I met the people I have recently, but if I had an experience like you did I would definitely withdraw from more social interactions too. Hopefully if you feel like you want to reach out again in the future, you'll find good people to connect with!

[Renalt]

Made a new friend last time I logged on. Actually I've made all my friends in the same exact spot while my dude is just doing push-ups/sit-ups/squats. We just got talking about POTD and how a lot of classes have changed since we last used them, etc. It was a good hour of just chatting. Balmung is perfect for people who want to make friends. People just...come up to you and start talking.

[Leifei]

Yeah I cant have much sympathy either xD if it was some regular dude in pictures, its very unlikely anyone would have sent him any money no matter how many pictures of his dead mom he would post.

I had a friend that used to do similar stuff, thankfully not this elaborate or with real life money but he used to pretend he was a girl in games and so many guys would give him stuff I was baffled that’s all it took xD

Heh, my brother used to trick guys in game like this. He just played a girl character, acted a little girly, and some guy was paying his subscription. XD

[Renalt]

Heh, my brother used to trick guys in game like this. He just played a girl character, acted a little girly, and some guy was paying his subscription. XD

Free armor trimming if you'll be my GF!

I remember hearing that a lot back in my Runescape days.