So this game has dps checks but we can't talk about our dps in game?

[Kolaina]

It may be some people's egos that get in the way, but anytime I've ever had someone offer advice in my time in the game, it has always been either negative or shorthand. Shorthanded advice appears to be less meaningful and more of a putdown. My point is, I think there is just a communication issue. When people type in chat "job/name didn't do such-and-such", this isn't helpful and often destructive to the conversation. Putting together a sentence that shows you put effort and thought into it, may actually be taken different that "why didn't you job action".

So ignore the message and focus on how it makes you feel. Nope. No issue there.
I do agree egos get in the way, though I believe it is the crushing of the ego for the person receiving advice or constructive criticisms.

[Packetdancer]

I do agree egos get in the way, though I believe it is the crushing of the ego for the person receiving advice or constructive criticisms.

Eh, I've seen ego problems on both sides of that exchange. I've seen people lording their superior performance over others (where it feels like they only define their own value in being mathematically more optimal than others), and I've seen people whose pride is stung by constructive criticism and lash out in response. It's less "one side of this are consistently jerks" and more "humans are finicky."

I admit, I've generally had good luck when I offer advice, but I'll usually start it with, "Hey, do you mind one tip that might help make this a little easier?" and go from there. Offering something helpful -- and giving someone the chance to say 'no' -- rather than starting out with just flat criticism; it's a small difference, but that ability to say 'no' makes it feel more collaborative and less confrontational. Now, mind you, if we're in higher-end content and they do decline the advice, I admit that I'm more likely to go "Okay, this person is not interested in improving, we're not going to clear this content, and I'm going to bounce from here and do something else more productive with my time."

Because if they state they aren't willing to take advice, then just yelling at them about it isn't going to make them more likely to want to do so... and while I'll happily help where I can, if they aren't interested in taking advice and improving in the first place then I probably can spend my time better elsewhere. (Rather than just endlessly wiping to whatever content we're in, growing more and more frustrated.)