To some extent this is a matter of time. Right now the content is brand new so everyone is doing it at essentially minimum ilevel. Over time people (including non-raiders gearing up with tomes) will have a much easier time with the EX and savage content. Not that better gear will make savage easy, but it'll be a bit more forgiving.

Really though, not every type of content is for everyone. If the XIV style of raiding isn't for you there's not much you can do about it and no advice from other people will magically make it better.