help dealing with harassment

[Aelin_Ashryver]

You have been playing one year and already maxed your black list!? How have you somehow managed to find so many harassers? I am on 3 years playing I think I have maybe 3 people on block.. maybe they are not the problem

[Puremallace]

I have gotten people banned for standing on the little bell guys for too long and blocking them. You cannot convince me that you reported this with in game chat logs and the mods just ignored it. NOW NOW CAVEAT this is a JP server I think so the GM's there could be doing things differently.

If you are more worried about the GM's than the actual reporting then it sounds like Blizzard is not the only MMO company with skeletons in the closet when it comes to these issues. US and EU GM's handle these issues very differently from the JP ones it seems.

If Square Enix should learn one lesson from Blizzard it is not to treat these issues like a big joke because it could blow up in their faces hard and ruin the reputation of their company for years to come.

[Awha]

I have gotten people banned for standing on the little bell guys for too long and blocking them. You cannot convince me that you reported this with in game chat logs and the mods just ignored it. NOW NOW CAVEAT this is a JP server I think so the GM's there could be doing things differently.

If you are more worried about the GM's than the actual reporting then it sounds like Blizzard is not the only MMO company with skeletons in the closet when it comes to these issues. US and EU GM's handle these issues very differently from the JP ones it seems.

If Square Enix should learn one lesson from Blizzard it is not to treat these issues like a big joke because it could blow up in their faces hard and ruin the reputation of their company for years to come.

How do you know you have gotten them banned? SE does not tell you unless you were pseudo stalking them or they mentioned it.

Either way I thought you could cycle through to target the bell so not like standing on it would block anything.

Also on a side note towards others if they have your lodestone then no amount of name or server transfer will hide you.

THE INTERNER NEVER FORGETS.

[Krotoan]

Somewhere between "I got banned for saying a bad word in the vicinity of someone who reported me" and "SE doesn't do anything to serial harassment perpetrators" the truth lies.

[Jin-]

Only way to truly be hidden is to get a new account. No matter how many times you change your name / change servers you can be found.

I don't know you OP but maxing out blacklist so quick is strange to be honest. My friend told me that people are bad and they already filled the blacklist in few weeks after starting the game. I know in their case the problem really isn't the people being bad.
Maybe it's similar in your case? Being too easily offended or reacting negatively to everything?

I am sorry it's happening to you.

[Wyldkat99]

Yeah the BPD thing is a big red flag to me. I'm guessing most of you are unfamiliar with it and the complications it has. BPD. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say what the OP thinks is happening and what is actually happening, might not be the same thing.

[AziraSyuren]

Yeah the BPD thing is a big red flag to me. I'm guessing most of you are unfamiliar with it and the complications it has. BPD. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say what the OP thinks is happening and what is actually happening, might not be the same thing.

doesn't really matter

They came here for help, didn't name names, and it's real to them, so it's not our place to speculate.

[MilkieTea]

Yeah the BPD thing is a big red flag to me. I'm guessing most of you are unfamiliar with it and the complications it has. BPD. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say what the OP thinks is happening and what is actually happening, might not be the same thing.

I'd like to clarify something here since I'm seeing this come up a lot - BPD does not mean that when someone feels they're getting harassed, they need to be looked at with more scrutiny. As someone who has BPD (and Autism), it affects mostly my relationships with close friends and loved ones. I will also be quicker to anger in social situations and it'll be easier to frustrate me, but that doesn't mean that the situation isn't objectively frustrating.

It's not "Oh hey OP! I don't really like your hair!" "OMG HARASSMENT!"
It's closer to "LMAO OP, change your hair more often because it doesnt suit your face." "Stop talking to me, oh my god." "No but seriously, the hair doesnt suit your face." "Seriously stop, this is harassment."

It's a black and white view of the world, yes, but closer to being quick to jump to extremes, and not at all just viewing daily interactions in extreme lights. In the first instance, there wasn't any hint of harassment because there wasn't continued prodding, however in the 2nd instance it's easier to see how someone would jump to harassment (even if it is innocuous "poking fun" to the person saying the stuff to OP.)

Also: "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say what the OP thinks is happening and what is actually happening, might not be the same thing." Is peak gaslighting behavior at its finest. Someone having emotional instabilities and trouble with interpersonal relationships doesn't mean they can't look at a situation with clear eyes.

BPD isn't always the "split" side of things. We can hold normal everyday lives and you may never know that someone has BPD unless they tell you.

To OP: Clear out your blacklist, oldest to newest. You'll likely not interact with some of these people again, so whoever is from old Data Centers can go. If there's anyone on your current data center, go from oldest to newest and delete anyone who's been there for longer than 2 weeks. I empathize. My blacklist is empty but I recently cut off a group of people who I was sure I'd be friends with for YEARS, because I could feel myself splitting on them and I knew I could catch myself before I completely ruined how they perceived me. Switched servers, had to remove them as friends, took all the gil I'd given our FC, etc etc. It's not nearly the same as what you're going through, but there's a similar mechanical process of clearing out your lists. So make sure anyone you don't need to keep track of is removed from your blacklist, and I hope you feel happy and safe now.

[AziraSyuren]

I'd like to clarify something here since I'm seeing this come up a lot - BPD does not mean that when someone feels they're getting harassed, they need to be looked at with more scrutiny.

to be fair, this wouldn't be a video game forum without same casual ableism lmao

[Ronduwil]

This is great advice if you live in a fairy tale where right always wins. In the real world, power is what wins, and some people don't care if they hurt you. Some people enjoy hurting you. The only way to make them stop is to make them scared of you.

You're the one who seems to be living in a fairy tale here. There's power in dealing with things maturely. You don't need fear to make the system work for you. In fact, fear only gets in the way because karma is real. My biggest successes in life came through kindness, not fear. If you help people out, you'll always have someone willing to help you out. If you attempt to make everyone fear you, at best, no one will be around for you when you find yourself in a bind. At worst, you'll fail miserably and end up in a worse situation than before. I don't know who taught you to think like this, but I suggest you rethink how you're living your life.