Just going to throw my two cents in...

Yes, I believe in "you pull it, you tank it" - you want to dictate how fast the party goes and how many mobs are pulled at once? Then you go in as tank. You want to backseat tank and "help" me by pulling more to me? Have fun dying.

I pull as much as I feel I can handle, and as much as I determine the healer can handle. You want to get on me for not pulling more? Then why is my health always going below 50%? When I started tanking, I had help in understanding what CDs even were and when/why to use them even in a party; CDs are supposed to be an emergency tactic for tanks for when they're a bit overwhelmed - like when you have a lot of enemies on you, or when your health gets below half. They're not supposed to be something you just pop for every single mob, and they're not supposed to be *needed* to be. Maybe if healers actually healed like they're supposed to instead of focusing too much on attacking or pulling more mobs, tanks would feel more comfortable pulling more because they know they have a reliable healer watching their back.

If the healer can't keep me above 50%, then I'm not pulling more - wiping wastes even more time, and is more likely to cause party members to bail.