Do you tease lalafells?

[Kolsykol]

Just generally speaking I think it's pretty shitty to comment on other peoples characters because you have no clue how they'll take and interpret it.
It's another thing if it's someone you know, like I often call the character of someone I know a potatoe and it's fine because he knows I am joking and isn't offended.

But it's the same thing as with how people dress irl or even how they mog their characters in the game.
Maybe just keep your opinion on it to yourself unless you know the person?
It's just kinda douchey behaviour imo to run around throwing jabs at people like that.

I don't really like people just throwing sexual comments at me for example, and I've had people before at the start of dungeons or running up to me and making lewd comments about my character and I don't really like it and I've left groups before because I told them to stop and they continued.
If it's someone I know then it's different, but when it's some random person I have no clue what their intent is or what goes through their mind as they do it so it's totally different.
I know someone who does erotic art too and he recently commented about how he didn't like people making perverted comments about his art and some in his audience lost their shit.
But the truth is I think that a lot of people don't like this stuff unless you '' know their heart '' for a lack of a better term.
Like are you making those comments because you're a shitty person or not?
Is it actually a joke or?

I think it should just be assumed that it's unwanted unless it's made more clear that it isn't.
It doesn't have to be something extreme like a consent form lol.
But just try to read signals.

I can joke with friends, but saying this to random people..? Dunno, it's kind of rude imo. As much as it can be said with no ill intent, if you're hearing these jokes every day every second time you enter a dungeon or just stay next to marketboard minding your own business - it will become boring and annoying very fast, and I can understand why some players stop liking it or don't like it in the first place. Making jokes is good and all, but there's time and place for them.

Imagine hearing some harmless stereotype about your ethnicity every single day. You can find it cute at first, maybe will laugh with those who joke, but after 100500th time you probably will be just... smiling politely while thinking to yourself "yeah you're 10th to say this today, how very original of you. Next one please". It's not really the perfect example, but it's the one that goes the closest (said by somebody who's very tired of getting typical "vodka" or "su** bl***" comment the second people hear I'm from Russia. Is it harmless? Sure, it is, there's no ill intent in these messages. But is it funny? Stopped being so good 15 years ago and became a facepalm material since then).

I've come to realize that there actually are a lot of people who unironically believe that being blonde makes you stupid.
A lot of people actually do believe these stereotypes.

It's always strange to me too because only like 4-5% of people in the US are blonde and that's where this stereotype seem to have come from and is the most pervasive same thing with how the '' stereotypical white person '' in the US is described as blonde and blue-eyed when it couldn't be further from the average.
But it's definitely how people see it still even if it doesn't line up with reality.

I do think that stereotypes are harmless for the most part in individual cases, the problem becomes when they become ingrained and I do think people begin to believe them uncritically.
Partly because a lot of people probably want to believe them too for a variety of different reasons.
Like the Russian thing for example there's a lot of antagonism between NA, the EU and Russia so portraying Russians that way is pretty appealing to a lot of people in NA and EU.

[Ftail]

I don't really like people just throwing sexual comments at me for example.

This is harassment, please report them as this isn't a joke. This is disgusting behavior.

This is a perfect example of people not understanding a light hearted joke VS. actual harassment. This is why, I will never return to the forums people can't tell the difference. I had the page open and I regret it and can't stop myself from commenting. Thank god for GM's who can actually look at conversations.

[Kolsykol]

This is harassment, please report them as this isn't a joke. This is disgusting behavior.

This is a perfect example of people not understanding a light hearted joke VS. actual harassment. This is why, I will never return to the forums people can't tell the difference. I had the page open and I regret it and can't stop myself from commenting. Thank god for GM's who can actually look at conversations.

I agree with you but the problem is that a lot of people don't see it as harassment and it being harassment also depends on context and pov.
From our pov it might be harassment but to a lot of the people making those comments it's '' just a joke '' or they think it's a compliment.

I actually would take it as a light-hearted joke too if I knew the person which is kinda my point, because the context of it changes when I know where they're coming from.
I am not actually offended by sexual comments or sexualized content quite the opposite.
But it stops being fun if there are bad motives/ intent and I can't know that unless I know the person at some level and that makes me uneasy.

And I think it's the same with Lalafell comments for example.
If you make a comment about it to a Lalafell player they won't inherently know where you're coming from and if it actually is '' just '' a joke or not.
And if it's not then it could be seen as harassment.

[Ftail]

I agree with you but the problem is that a lot of people don't see it as harassment and it being harassment also depends on context and pov.
From our pov it might be harassment but to a lot of the people making those comments it's '' just a joke '' or they think it's a compliment.

I actually would take it as a light-hearted joke too if I knew the person which is kinda my point, because the context of it changes when I know where they're coming from.
I am not actually offended by sexual comments or sexualized content quite the opposite.
But it stops being fun if there are bad motives/ intent and I can't know that unless I know the person at some level and that makes me uneasy.

And I think it's the same with Lalafell comments for example.
If you make a comment about it to a Lalafell player they won't inherently know where you're coming from and if it actually is '' just '' a joke or not.
And if it's not then it could be seen as harassment.

People should never sexualize you, that is offensive. Please be offended and report that. That is a lot different then me asking an Elezen to grab something off the top shelf during a dungeon as a joke. People are forgetting what is acceptable as a joke, and what is seriously harassment that should get you banned. What you or me feel should be seen as harassment is unimportant, report that to a GM and they will administer justice.

God, I really want to stop commenting here. I have a sickness, where I want to explain myself and talk to people as human beings.

[Kolsykol]

People should never sexualize you, that is offensive. Please be offended and report that. That is a lot different then me asking an Elezen to grab something off the top shelf during a dungeon as a joke. People are forgetting what is acceptable as a joke, and what is seriously harassment that should get you banned. What you or me feel should be seen as harassment is unimportant, report that to a GM and they will administer justice.

God, I really want to stop commenting here. I have a sickness, where I want to explain myself and talk to people as human beings.

Unless you're not offended by being sexualized then it's not offensive.
And you can be fine with being sexualized by one person but not the other.
In fact I'd say that's how most people work it's about autonomy and personal boundaries.

I don't think that it's unimportant because whether something is or isn't harassment is going to depend on how you interpret and feel about something too.
I mean are you saying that if one is totally fine with having someone lewd their character that it it's still harassment if they lewd their character?
It's no longer harassment at that point because they're fine with it.

Harassment is unwanted behaviour towards you particularly when it's repeated.
So yes if you start making jokes about an Elezen player being tall and they tell you to stop and you keep going and it's making them uncomfortable that's harassment.
I don't think that you should be getting banned for the initial joke tho it's the repeated and deliberate thing that you should be getting banned for if that's the case.

Edit: There are ofc degrees to this, I do think that there is a difference between a tall joke and perverted comments I am not saying that there aren't.

[Awha]

This is harassment, please report them as this isn't a joke. This is disgusting behavior.

This is a perfect example of people not understanding a light hearted joke VS. actual harassment. This is why, I will never return to the forums people can't tell the difference. I had the page open and I regret it and can't stop myself from commenting. Thank god for GM's who can actually look at conversations.

Context matters so yes while maybe to one GM it would be seen as a violation of the rules the truth is based off wording alone a GM could find many actions as a violation based off their interruption and understanding of the situation.

End of the day context behind the comment should always be taken into consideration. Though I do get how this might not sit well within todays climate. SE already provides people the tools to avoid further incidents when it comes to such things. Sure we migjt have outliers and that is when harsher action must be taken but a simple off color or not PC joke that can easily be sloved with black listing seems like a waste of GM time imo.