Quote Originally Posted by FrogDog View Post
The amount of effort and skill it takes to tank a dungeon in this game is such a low bar that it really baffles me that some tank players have egos and a overinflated sense of their authority in a group. I'm used to tanks having egos in other games and content and it's usually at least somewhat earned there.

The bigger issue with these kinds of tanks are the people that enable them. You know, like the pocket healer who will not heal you at the behest of a toxic player, when it's trivial for a tank to just take aggro in one or two GCDs at the most.

I can't give you great advice on this kind of scenario and I'm sorry it's causing you this much stress. These kinds of interactions are unfortunately pretty common or easy to trigger so I'm at the point where I just don't even speak to people in this game. Don't follow my example too much though, since I'm friendless and just run 30m-1hr worth of content with randoms once in awhile. I'm usually healing or dpsing and my policy is to visibly signal to the tank that they should keep moving, and when they don't then if it's an 80 dungeon I'll grab more enemies, if it's a leveling dungeon I'll let it be. Even in a leveling dungeon though, it just sucks if a tank doesn't pull more - might as well run with a Trust at that point. I get that tanks can have performance anxiety but I wish there was some way to get through to new tanks at large that their cooldowns are more available and efficient when they big pull, and that their gameplay is exactly the same whether it's 3 mobs or 10.

Unfortunately kicking is so difficult to do in FF between the 5min minimum from starting the dungeon, and not being able to kick during rolls, that it's often just better to deal with the bad behavior or just leave if you can swing the penalty timer. The penalty timer is a whole other issue that forces you to usually subject yourself to toxic people or YOU get punished and can't even do casual content like some gold saucer stuff for those 30 mins. This game is full of bad systems but I digress.
How difficult it is has nothing to do with this. If you want bigger pulls you ask. If you choose co-opt the tanks role in the group out of nowhere without saying a word, and force everyone to adjust on the spot because you can't tank the crap you just pulled, then you're inconsiderate and a nuisance. At that point no one is obligated to be nice to you.

This community has a funny outlook on toxicity. Most of you can't be bothered to offer even basic levels of consideration to other players by making a simple request, and instead opt to do dismissive and passive aggressive things like forcing the tanks hand. Then when the tank has the nerve to be passive aggressive back you all piss yourselves and cry about the horrible toxicity you've just endured.