Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[Ftail]

You probably made the mistake of calling out somebody with some premades! The profanity will probably land them a ban and strike against their account though, so yeah, there's definitely that.

I messaged someone from the group because I took a picture of another alliance in in chocobo costumes, so I knew the names of my party members. I was curious about what I did wrong, and I wanted to know what I needed to improve upon. After saying, "You really don't need to add a sound effect to your raise macro, it's obnoxious" I was told that was toxic behavior that's why I got vote kicked out. I didn't ask about being called the B-word for saying that. Honestly, to me it was shocking. I just wanted to give my opinion, I didn't mean to be "toxic". I can count the number of times I was vote kicked out of a group on one hand since starting in the beta 2.0 version of the game. This was the only time I questioned being kicked from a group after almost a decade of playing.

[SiriusCrescent]

I messaged someone from the group because I took a picture of another alliance in in chocobo costumes, so I knew the names of my party members. I was curious about what I did wrong, and I wanted to know what I needed to improve upon. After saying, "You really don't need to add a sound effect to your raise macro, it's obnoxious" I was told that was toxic behavior that's why I got vote kicked out. I didn't ask about being called the B-word for saying that. Honestly, to me it was shocking. I just wanted to give my opinion, I didn't mean to be "toxic". I can count the number of times I was vote kicked out of a group on one hand since starting in the beta 2.0 version of the game. This was the only time I questioned being kicked from a group after almost a decade of playing.

Welcome to the new age. Nowadays, voicing an opinion of any kind - no matter the intend and context - that someone could find offensive - no matter the validity - lands you a "toxic" label. IRL and ingame has basically become a "walking-on-eggshells simulator".

Although, to be fair, the "obnoxious" might have been the main factor in this exchange, there's a lot of people who do not like being called something negative. A simple "Please reconsider using a sound effect for your raise macro, it's not really needed" probably would have gone over better.

On-Topic:

Just did a Normal Raid and landed in Eden's Verse: Refulgence.

Me and a lot of other folks in the party voiced their displeasure of this find because they didn't remember the fight well (or at all), and while everyone ate Vuln stacks like hell, we only had one death in the end (Which wasn't me, hah!) and everyone was happy to complete the fight without a wipe It was nice!

[Ftail]

Welcome to the new age. Nowadays, voicing an opinion of any kind - no matter the intend and context - that someone could find offensive - no matter the validity - lands you a "toxic" label. IRL and ingame has basically become a "walking-on-eggshells simulator".

Although, to be fair, the "obnoxious" might have been the main factor in this exchange, there's a lot of people who do not like being called something negative. A simple "Please reconsider using a sound effect for your raise macro, it's not really needed" probably would have gone over better.

On-Topic:

Just did a Normal Raid and landed in Eden's Verse: Refulgence.

Me and a lot of other folks in the party voiced their displeasure of this find because they didn't remember the fight well (or at all), and while everyone ate Vuln stacks like hell, we only had one death in the end (Which wasn't me, hah!) and everyone was happy to complete the fight without a wipe It was nice!

"You really don't need to add a sound effect to your raise macro, it's obnoxious" compared to, "Please reconsider using a sound effect for your raise macro, it's not really needed". Honestly, obnoxious is not that mean of a word. If saying the word obnoxious justifies being called the B-word, I apologize... But even after this explanation, I still don't understand the anger.

[SiriusCrescent]

"You really don't need to add a sound effect to your raise macro, it's obnoxious" compared to, "Please reconsider using a sound effect for your raise macro, it's not really needed". Honestly, obnoxious is not that mean of a word. If saying the word obnoxious justifies being called the B-word, I apologize... But even after this explanation, I still don't understand the anger.

Then you missed the part in the explanation where I pointed out that sound reasoning doesn't need to have anything to do with it. =P

On-Topic:

Just did MSQ Roulette and I was pretty amazed that even though it was Castrum Meridianum nobody really leeched so we went through it really quickly and that at this time of day or rather night!

[Callinon]

"You really don't need to add a sound effect to your raise macro, it's obnoxious" compared to, "Please reconsider using a sound effect for your raise macro, it's not really needed". Honestly, obnoxious is not that mean of a word. If saying the word obnoxious justifies being called the B-word, I apologize... But even after this explanation, I still don't understand the anger.

And besides. It IS obnoxious. Obnoxious is the correct word here. You're not "toxic" for pointing that out if you went no further.

[Kanitezz]

Not DF but I don't know where else to put this and I need to let it out so to speak. I was in a Castrum Lacus Litore run and my group decided we were going to go and fight Lyon. We had a group of 1 tank, 1 healer, 6 DPS, one of which were me. I had beaten him before with another group so I was relatively confident in my ability to do so.

When he calls us up there the first time, one of our DPS misses the cue and we are down a person. He casts the "Heart of Nature" variation that has the four pulsing rock aoes that start at the corners and make their way toward the middle, along with the "Winds Peak" aoe that pushes you back, and I panic. His health was going down a lot slower than it was the first time I fought him so I thought he was going to get to the second cast of that variation of Heart of Nature before we passed the DPS check. So with that thought in my head, some stupid words clouded my head from a guide I watched weeks ago just to learn what his moves were. The guide advised to 'save your knockback prevention for his second cast'. I did not do this the first time I fought him and I survived and we passed. But I let those words cloud my own judgment and memory of the past experience and I actually tried to save my knockback prevention. But because I had a hard time actually finding the timing to go back in the middle and keep attacking him, I get hit twice by the rocks while trying to get back in melee range of him and I die. With me dead and our other DPS not in the ring with him, DPS check failed.

Reset. Other parties asking if Lyon party is ok, we go yeah, everyone is on the same page, we will all go up to fight Lyon this time no one left behind. I tell my team I wont mess up again. I do the same crap again. The EXACT same crap because even with our other DPS up there with us, he is still going down slower than what I saw the first time I beat him. Mind clouded again because of anxiety and the pressure of me pulling my weight and not screwing it up again. I don't use knockback prevention to avoid Winds Peak knockback to 'try and save it for the next one' and I die again. The only way I know how to avoid the quadruple pulsing rock aoes and keep my DPS up seems to be me running back to the middle after he's cast Winds Peak, and I've used knockback prevention (I've only used melee jobs to fight him). This second attempt however I died before we even went up to fight Lyon because I got caught in two Molting Plumage aoes from Dawon. So I had weakness. Which makes my DPS weaker. So the second time we fail the DPS check to Lyon he was at 52%. 52%. I'm positive you just need to get him to 50% to pass the DPS check, but because I died to Dawon AND him again we were just missing that last 2% to actually have a victory for everyone. I'm the reason 37 people's time was wasted. It was my fault. After the second failure it was obvious we didn't have enough time for another attempt. I didn't say anything, left the duty, and closed the game because I felt so awful. To everyone in that run, I'm sorry.

I'm still kind of beating myself up about it. But I have at least learned to trust my own instincts in situations like that. From now on, if I do watch a guide, I'm just going to take in the mechs of the fight and deal with them by trusting my gut.

[MorionQ]

Got a shiny new controller to play on my PC as my Xbone one ate it. It’s actually one of those small 8bitdo Pro controllers that works for PC and Switch, so the ABXY is laid out differently, and for some Godforsaken reason, just knowing that kept tripping my brain into trying to use the swapped A and B as their as labeled instead of the actual, default X-input function. So I go into controller configuration and swap the functions to match the Nintendo layout’s different set-up.

This, turned out, was a mistake, as I tried to break literal years of muscle memory in a blind run of Swallow’s Compass as Scholar. I swear, it was like my hands stopped working for a minute there. Bless that group for the ride. Holy crap, they had no idea and I’m so glad they were vastly better players than I. I switched everything back as soon as we finished.

[Ceridwenae]

"You really don't need to add a sound effect to your raise macro, it's obnoxious" compared to, "Please reconsider using a sound effect for your raise macro, it's not really needed". Honestly, obnoxious is not that mean of a word. If saying the word obnoxious justifies being called the B-word, I apologize... But even after this explanation, I still don't understand the anger.

So calling someone's behaviour and arguably their playstyle out in front of a group of people using a word that only has negative connotations is something many people do not like, especially when they're feeling under pressure or unempowered, and doubly so in front of peers. Obviously I am not the people you were dealing with, but if I try to see it from their side of things, I can imagine to them you're a stranger, an instigator who has pulled a rug from underneath their feet, embarrassing them and casting negative judgement over their attempts to do their thing. What do people do when they feel like they're being attacked (doesn't matter if they are or not and I'm including the friends of someone under fire in the scenario)? Offense is the best defense is a course many choose to take - this is no excuse for calling you names, just a reason for it. Words have meaning, and they can hurt a lot in the right context. Denying that is part of the problem we have. Not saying you're doing that specifically, mind. I'd suggest you think of it as them thinking you did the bad thing first (even if that's not your intention, word choice matters because no one ever claimed James Randi's $1m for psychic abilities), and then they reacted to it - poorly.

Whereas you're not wrong to ask them to reconsider the sound (it's why I often run with voices off and zero performance noise for example), it's literally just another case of needing to choose your words carefully. If you want a behaviour to change, you don't use negativity to change it - that breeds resentment, some of which you've just experienced in this duty.

However - big caveat of understanding here and a genuine internet hug for you from me! - if you were feeling a bit at the end of your own rag at the macro going off left right and centre, it's understandable that you were blunt with your request. In duties, we don't often have the time to formulate more polite sentences, especially if there's something nails-on-chalkboard irritating going on. You absolutely have my sympathy! It's incredibly frustrating to run up against those walls when those walls smack you in the face pretty hard.

If I were you, I'd notch this one up to experience and move on. Let's hope that raise macro never darkens your door again! <3

[Ftail]

So calling someone's behaviour and arguably their playstyle out in front of a group of people using a word that only has negative connotations is something many people do not like, especially when they're feeling under pressure or unempowered, and doubly so in front of peers. Obviously I am not the people you were dealing with, but if I try to see it from their side of things, I can imagine to them you're a stranger, an instigator who has pulled a rug from underneath their feet, embarrassing them and casting negative judgement over their attempts to do their thing. What do people do when they feel like they're being attacked (doesn't matter if they are or not and I'm including the friends of someone under fire in the scenario)? Offense is the best defense is a course many choose to take - this is no excuse for calling you names, just a reason for it. Words have meaning, and they can hurt a lot in the right context. Denying that is part of the problem we have. Not saying you're doing that specifically, mind. I'd suggest you think of it as them thinking you did the bad thing first (even if that's not your intention, word choice matters because no one ever claimed James Randi's $1m for psychic abilities), and then they reacted to it - poorly.

Whereas you're not wrong to ask them to reconsider the sound (it's why I often run with voices off and zero performance noise for example), it's literally just another case of needing to choose your words carefully. If you want a behaviour to change, you don't use negativity to change it - that breeds resentment, some of which you've just experienced in this duty.

However - big caveat of understanding here and a genuine internet hug for you from me! - if you were feeling a bit at the end of your own rag at the macro going off left right and centre, it's understandable that you were blunt with your request. In duties, we don't often have the time to formulate more polite sentences, especially if there's something nails-on-chalkboard irritating going on. You absolutely have my sympathy! It's incredibly frustrating to run up against those walls when those walls smack you in the face pretty hard.

If I were you, I'd notch this one up to experience and move on. Let's hope that raise macro never darkens your door again! <3

Ok this actually makes a lot of sense. Thanks...

[Katie_Kitty]

The only raise macro that has any right to exist is "Raising <t>".
Text macros only have a place when they provide an extremely useful piece of information to the rest of your party. "I've got this one, other healer, don't waste your 25% MP" is pretty important. "(Living Dead) (Just Used It.) (Heal!)" is just about the only other acceptable macro IMO.
Keep this "Something Something 3rd Shadow Art Something Something Chimatsuri" nonsense out of my party chat please and thank you.

This "no fun allowed" mentality is pretty ridiculous honestly. Will never understand people who get mad at raise macros. It's not that serious.