When I'm on my healer, all I care is if the tank is rotating defensive cooldowns properly. When I'm on my DPS, all I care is if the tank is holding aggro properly and bunching up the targets (God I hate tanks who spread out mobs so DPS AOEs just can't hit all of them).

Tank dps is the least of my concerns. IMO defensive cooldowns and mob positioning (i.e. the pulls) are many times more important than whether a tank is using the full kit. Anyone who has to complain about tank dps outside of savage content needs to chill, or stay away from the DF forever.