The toxicity starting to happen.

[ForteNightshade]

The healer/DPS could just not pull the extra adds? If people are so worried about pull sizes they could just play tanks themselves rather than pushing this kind of drivel

That isn't the argument though. You're moving the goalpost.

You don't have to like a DPS/healer pulling additional mobs but you refusing to take aggro to "teach them a lesson" immediately puts you at fault because their intentions aren't to cause a wipe. Yours are, even if indirectly. Nevertheless, we're now back to arguing the tank sets the pace and all other parties just have to accept it. Which, in my opinion, is nonsense. If anyone should determine the pace (and I don't believe they should), it'd be the healer since they control your HP.

Why did the DPS have to be petty and grief? Two wrongs don't make a right but the blame doesn't lay solely on the tank

Edit: Like I said if the pace of a dungeon is so important to people maybe they should play tanks if they don't want to do that try communicating and maybe compromise a bit.

One more time. It is not griefing.

Griefing means you're deliberately trying to sabotage someone. The equivalent here would be a healer using Rescue only to inadvertently get the DPS killed when said player was perfectly safe but may be trying to sneak in one last hit before moving. Is that griefing? No. You didn't intent to kill the DPS, just as the DPS pulling extra mobs didn't intend to cause a wipe. It just happened.