I'm gonna say something unpopular: I don't like to rush.

[Penthea]

I was one or those players, even IRL I scratch my head when people thank me for performing my role or doing my job. I do not get offended, but it does make sense to me in the slightest.

Oh yea I totally understand someone's logic when they say "why should I thank someone for something they should be doing?" but it's another thing altogether to get offended when someone does. That's just being spiteful for literally no good reason.

I don't expect to be thanked when I do a good job healing, but it's nice when it does happen. And I like when I see people do the same to others.

On tbe topic I do agree communication is key. Just at times it seems like a gamble and over time I have noticed that many seem to operate on the notion it is better to ask for forgiveness instead of permission. In the sense if tanking if the group forces it on the tank and it is successful pull and they still refuse to do larger pulls people will view them as being a bad, lazy, snowflake tank. Though if one asks they run the risk of them saying no without even trying to see if the group would falter.

It is a rough spot to be in at times.

Chances are if they say no things wouldn't turn out well anyway if you made that decision for them. At best you would annoy someone. At worst they or others will leave. Neither of those situations is good but obviously one is far worse than the other.

If a person wants something and nothing else is acceptable they should just leave if what they want is impossible whether due to the skill of the group or someone refusing to do something. Or alternatively vote kick. Either way someone not fitting in with what the group wants ends up leaving.

I'm a pretty easy going person but like everyone else there are limits to my patience. If I'm in a situation in which I'm expected to do something I think is unreasonable or what the group wants is something I refuse to give, I leave. I never leave silently though. Like for example if I come across a very undergeared tank who isn't very good that makes every pull a nightmare I say something like "bad gear and bad use of cds, you're making me work very hard for your shortcomings. Find another healer for this, I'm not dealing with it." and then I leave. No need for insults. Just say what's wrong, and go. It's a game. No one has to deal with other people's playstyles if they don't want to.

EDIT: just want to say that if I come across a bad tank with bad gear I do advise them to pull less or use their cds better, and if they refuse or simply cannot do it that's when I choose to leave the group.

[Awha]

Oh yea I totally understand someone's logic when they say "why should I thank someone for something they should be doing?" but it's another thing altogether to get offended when someone does. That's just being spiteful for literally no good reason.

I don't expect to be thanked when I do a good job healing, but it's nice when it does happen. And I like when I see people do the same to others.

Chances are if they say no things wouldn't turn out well anyway if you made that decision for them. At best you would annoy someone. At worst they or others will leave. Neither of those situations is good but obviously one is far worse than the other.

If a person wants something and nothing else is acceptable they should just leave if what they want is impossible whether due to the skill of the group or someone refusing to do something. Or alternatively vote kick. Either way someone not fitting in with what the group wants ends up leaving.

I'm a pretty easy going person but like everyone else there are limits to my patience. If I'm in a situation in which I'm expected to do something I think is unreasonable or what the group wants is something I refuse to give, I leave. I never leave silently though. Like for example if I come across a very undergeared tank who isn't very good that makes every pull a nightmare I say something like "bad gear and bad use of cds, you're making me work very hard for your shortcomings. Find another healer for this, I'm not dealing with it." and then I leave. No need for insults. Just say what's wrong, and go. It's a game. No one has to deal with other people's playstyles if they don't want to.

EDIT: just want to say that if I come across a bad tank with bad gear I do advise them to pull less or use their cds better, and if they refuse or simply cannot do it that's when I choose to leave the group.

Oh I largely agree, this is why I go for the vote or leave route. Though looking at it from the point of others it also makes sense to push forward and force the tank into a situation of having to deal with larger groups. Since if they do fail it does increases the chances for the vote to go through in theory. If it does not fail and the tank still wants single pulls then any potential good will that would have been granted if they would have asked for permission in theory may go out the window. Since in the eyes of everyone else the desire to not do larger pulls shifts from a lack of ability to simply unwillingness to do so.

It is selfish, but in theoretical practice the cons do not absolutely outweigh the pros depending on how one looks and values each situation. It greatly shifts the burden and alters the expectations of the group depending on the outcome. It sort of falls in line with the post you made in sarcasm, for many players tanks really have no value to some players. Their role is just a given necessity forced on them by the developers. Tanking is a thankless role at times, and one that regrettably be manipulated into playing a certain way fairly easy in the current structure of MMO's today.