I started playing this on PS4 when it came out and chose PLD. Had a horrible experience as it was my first MMO. I stopped playing about the middle of HW cause I just wasn't very good as a tank. I picked it back up on PC during last years Winter Steam sale and figured I start playing again. I've got about 500 or so hours logged so far. This time I stayed away from tanking because I had severe Tankxiety from the last time. I chose DRG, leveled to 80 and I leveled DNC , MCH, SMN, and BRD. I watched a Work to Game video a while back about Tankxiety and one thing he said that spurred me to level one was "Stop being a p***y!!" I said screw it and chose DRK I leveled it to 80 but wasn't satisfied. I still felt like I was doing stuff wrong a
I then decided to try GNB. Same thing... something just wasn't right, I was honestly scared to play with the two. that Tankxiety was still there. Was I pulling enough? Using cool downs properly?

My usual start to a dungeon while leveling them was to say in party chat "Leveling tank here so bear with me as I may make a mistake or three". Never once did I get any grief or harassment from ANYONE the whole way through! Everyone was extremely generous (even the ones doing roulettes) They'd always say "take it at your own pace", "no worries" or healers would say "Go for it, I got you". But they still didn't feel right. Like I wasn't good and I still had that pit in my stomach.

Fast forward to last week. I started leveling a GLD/PLD from scratch. THAT'S what I was missing!! DRK and GNB already came with half or almost all their kit when you start them. What I needed was one ability at a time! It made all the difference in the world! I've gained so much confidence in my tanking ability with PLD that I don't get that pit in my stomach when I queue up for a dungeon. Also I dungeon grind, I don't do Deep Dungeons because I want to learn every square inch of every dungeon. If that means having to run Quarn 7 times to unlock the next one then so be it! Its much needed practice and it pays dividends in rotation/CD practice for me. As well as the confidence to start pulling wall to wall if I need to. I can't count how many times I've gotten everyone's comms at the end of a dungeon while I've been leveling PLD. Granted I'm only 56 at the moment but leveling from scratch truly is the way to go for me. It's also made my DRK and GNB playstyle better as a result.

Saying you want to "play it the way you want to" doesn't really work. And in one of your posts you summed it up in one phrase "...I'm entitled...". No, you're really not. You're working as a team, and I've found that communicating up front before you even start that you're leveling or it's your first run of the dungeon WILL make ALL the difference in the world as to your enjoyment of the game. I promise! This games community really IS awesome as far as I've found.

TL;DR

Start from scratch! PLD or WAR.