It's time (Option to Hide other players Glamour)

[ArcaviusGreyashe]

Why can the same not be requested for those that wish to refrain from seeing certain things while playing a video game?

Keep in mind that I'm not attacking you personally, your question seems genuine, so I'll try to answer as clearly as I can.

But yeah, precisely. "Certain things". I'm sure you don't mean it as "those disgusting things", but that's how some people can understand it. Again, I'm advocating for LGBT people here, because IMO, people can go around as reindeers, piggys or frogs, I couldn't care less. Once you run a piece of content once, you don't need to immerse yourself, and even then, it's just a small effort to ignore people that dress outside of the lore.

Transgender people and crossdressing people can't dress that way IRL, because they get people looking at them with hate, fear, disgust, or a mix of these. Let's be clear, they don't dress that way for others, they dress that way for themselves, but they want people to recognize them for who they are, so it is important for them to be that way in public. Precisely because all they get is hate, right now. They want a world where they can dress and act freely. Many people are not even there, they are still fearful of people's reactions, but that same fear doesn't help with their identification. They are still confused, they feel like they're not living their lives, but the one of someone that was "designed" by this society, someone they can only see as an outsider to them. So, most of the times, they get depression.

Some may feel the need to take extra steps before making their coming out (if they do one, nothing mandatory), and crossdressing may be that extra step. And when that's the case, they are actually quite fearful as well. As discussed earlier, their character is not them, but as MMORPGs are social, the reaction to their avatar, when this very avatar is an expression of their true self, can hurt pretty bad. So when they leave their comfort zone, and dress their avatar in a way they would like to dress, and they got the feeling that people don't even want to aknowledge them there, it can be devastating.

Granted, most of the time, if that feature happens to be implemented, they won't know. But they will know that some people can choose to not see them, because they despise them for who they are before they even get to know them... So basically the same thing that happens IRL. So, video games, internet, that are a safe place for most of us from the IRL stress, become just an extension of IRL, where you face the same adversity.

So that's why expressing yourself is so important.

Meanwhile, when you're incomfortable near crossdressers, all you have to do is behave like everything is normal. I'm not saying "LGBT should be cherished by everyone". We all have issues, LGBT or not, we all may need a safeplace. And we should all act together to preserve that safe space.

I know how disturbing it might feel to be around crossdressers, especially when you're coming from traditional families and everything, I've been there. But it won't ever be as bad as the mental distress of someone that suffers from dysphoria and that has to lie every second of their life to not be hated.

[MelodyCrystel]

I don't know what pedos play, nor what they want to play, and I sure don't want to know. But calling traps, which is a highly sexual connoted word, something that looks, from your own words, like toddlers, that's definitely pedophilia and a big yikes.



I've spent the last 4 or 5 messages arguing for feminine clothing for males (or masculine clothing for females), please don't just read what is being said to you, but what is said on the thread you're talking about. Also, fetishizing transgender people (or crossdressing people) is pretty much just as bad as fetishizing races or anything, and I do hope you're just calling them traps for the meme, and not because that's just a fetish, 'cause that would be highly disrespectful.

As I said, I find Lalas cute, but that's not meant in a sexual way. Hence, could you stop the pedo-nonsense while responding to me? That would be nice.

Also, Lalas are the only characters that have a neutral body-type (male and female aren't extremely different like all the others) thus it's tempting very much to make them visual tomboys and whatever term you find better than trap. I don't use the later word in a meme way-- I'm not a native English speaker but a German woman, so you can say I live under a rock considering English trends. I just say trap because that's the phrase people apparently use when they refer to a boy wearing girlish stuff while behaving female-oriented.

Throwing the word fetish so quickly around is pretty unfair as you don't even know me. What if I had been a guy who enjoys dressing like a girl and flirting with boys? Though I'm a female, I can tell you if I had the other gender I would still find some woman-clothes nice to wear - as my personality got a balanced mix of traits common for men and women.

[Iscah]

At this point "trap" has simply become shorthand for - at least as I've understood it - "deliberately presenting as the opposite gender", usually a male character dressed to look female. I wouldn't see an inherent intent to it besides fooling people into assuming they're the opposite gender. (Which makes it prettymuch cheating to use a Lalafell, but anyway.)

One of the first things I got asked when I joined an FC was "are you a trap?" (I'm not) and I'm pretty sure they weren't accusing me of anything.

[Awha]

On moblie, so quoting is a pain.

I get what you are saying, and by certain things I mean whatever someone may find offensive. I know for a fact some find my Frog Suit or Rabbit Suit pretending to be a male bunny boi offensive they have told me as such. Thing is I will not change what I wear for them, but I also do not wish to detract from their own personal enjoyment of the game by having to look at something they may not find pleasing. Sure they could log off, look away, or quit the game if it that bother some, but I do not think that is good for the overall health of the game.

I strongly believe giving players more personal control over their own personal experience would have a positive impact at large. Sure some would have a lesser experience but with any feature that is to be expected.

Might be due to my own battles, but I do not think treating one form of mental distress as more important or hurtful as another is all that healthy really.

My step father was a huge fan of Divine, so I get it really do. Growing up was interesting to say the least so I get to a degree the stigma many face but alas while it sucks I do not think one normal has more value over another. Though that stems from me being on the spectrum.

[Eldevern]

...

Where this LGBTQ matters is false it is to consider it only applies to them and there should be an exception for them.

There are a lot of words, critics and blame all people hear since childhood for a reason or another. LGBTQ? What about people who grow in a conservative religious family with *whatever* other restrictions (about dressing or other things) and would love to get ride of them?

To be free is not a right but a responsability, this is why western countries have that hard time to understand some other claimings in other countries or fail to make a fair symetric.

One country : people ask to get ride on some restrictions.
Western country : they are right, you must lift this restrictions

And here comes the contradiction :

Western countries, inside their walls: people here have the right to protect... the said restriction some people ouside want to lift.

Double standard and double language, all the time.

Militancies of all kind have their own biais but refuse to see them. That's all the problem. Since twenty years I listen them carefully now, I can't say anything else than to disagree with militancies, none of them shows the hinsight they believe and pretend to have.

When some LGBTQ support some religious biais, targeting, in fact only one "enemy", the 40y.o. white man while the said religious and the LGBTQ have no common values... sorry but I step outside.

You want to force people to see them the same way some people were forcing them to hide. Now there is a way to allow everyone to do as it please, client side, you refuse it? When on earth is it fair? They can do what they want in the game and you refuse other to do what they want client-side?

And you know, I don't find the bunny or the frog fun, it goes a bit too far for my tastes.

[SamRF]

At this point "trap" has simply become shorthand for - at least as I've understood it - "deliberately presenting as the opposite gender", usually a male character dressed to look female. I wouldn't see an inherent intent to it besides fooling people into assuming they're the opposite gender. (Which makes it prettymuch cheating to use a Lalafell, but anyway.)

One of the first things I got asked when I joined an FC was "are you a trap?" (I'm not) and I'm pretty sure they weren't accusing me of anything.

It has perhaps now but you gotta admit it's far from the best choice of words lol. If I hear "trap" I'm going to assume it's actually, you know, a trap.. someone you will feel attracted to while they aren't actually your preferred gender, they trap you that way. Calling a lalafell a trap makes it seem like the lalafell presents itself that way to trap people their sexual desires towards them. This is strange with how lalafells look like children (show a beardless lalafell to any random person and they will agree).

I'll give the poster the benefit of the doubt that they didn't mean it that way but they should just apologize and move on. Better to be safe with discouraging anything that comes close to seemingly pedo practices even if it's a misinterpretation.

[MelodyCrystel]

I'll give the poster the benefit of the doubt that they didn't mean it that way but they should just apologize and move on.

As I pointed out before, I don't know a counterpart-term for tomboy (girl with male outfits / behaviour) other than trap (boy with female outfits / behaviour). Blame the English Internet-users for not using anything else to describe what I mean.

I suppose there's not even a noun in my language which would perfectly describe it; we only use the adjectives "burschikos" (tomboyish) and "mädchenhaft" (girlish).

Also, in case it's not clear enough so far, I don't use the term trap in an insulting way. I don't even use the German word "Kampflesbe" when I talk about lesbian women who act / dress as guys but say all men are bad.

[SamRF]

As I pointed out before, I don't know a counterpart-term for tomboy (girl with male outfits / behaviour) other than trap (boy with female outfits / behaviour). Blame the English Internet-users for not using anything else to describe what I mean.

I suppose there's not even a noun in my language which would perfectly describe it; we only use the adjectives "burschikos" (tomboyish) and "mädchenhaft" (girlish).

Also, in case it's not clear enough so far, I don't use the term trap in an insulting way. I don't even use the German word "Kampflesbe" when I talk about lesbian women who act / dress as guys but say all men are bad.

No I'll blame you for not being more careful with which words you're using. It's alright if you make a mistake but own it then instead of excusing it imo. Of course you can do or say what you want but expect to be called out for it if you say something like that.

It's okay though I never called you in particular a pedo, just said that lalafells may only be a trap for pedos and calling them that way is thus very strange. Even if "trap" isn't necessarily interpreted that way nowadays, it used to not very long ago and many will still recognize that meaning since it makes sense with the literal meaning of a "trap".

[MelodyCrystel]

No I'll blame you for not being more careful with which words you're using.

From my point of view, you can blame me as I did something wrong - there's no whitewashing for my mistake, so why should I even try to. I stick to the things I say and know not everyone will like my opinions.

About the apology-part, I say "I'm sorry." or "I apologise for ..." when I directly hurt somebody's feelings. I'm not the kind of person who wants to display general sorrow just to make sure people aren't going to behead them.

[Awha]

In think context matters, and with the internet context and meanings change quickly in terms of every day speech. No one should have to apologize for using a word in a different context. Ran into this a lot when people use sperg in discord when they are referring to another person's actions. Then they apologize because I am on the spectrum, and did not mean to offend. No offense was meant people should just move on. Same thing with heated gamer moments and people say things they do not mean. People take far too much offense over words without looking at the context.

Sure one may feel offended but if the intent was not to offend then by no means should one expect or even should apologize for the action unless they personally want to.