Tactful ways to inform people that they're playing badly?

[Saefinn]

You just have to not be rude or a s-bag about it. Some people will still kick off or not listen. But a lot of the time people are trying and don't mind feed back as long as its constructive without trying to put anybody down.

If people get the wrong end of the stick, explain that your intention is to try and help rather than put them down as everybody has to start somewhere.

I get varying results with this approach, but I feel it is at least earnest and also not rude. People are less likely to listen if you are a butt about it, chances are they'd play bad to annoy you then.

But I feel if doing it this way and they're defensive, you're not going to win in any scenario because they fact they're not playing as good as they thought they were has hurt their ego. Then you can sit with "at least I tried"

[Valderen]

i have always said this in every game

if you are not in the guild that they are in or friends with you. then just shut up and deal with them sucking, you are a nobody and why should i take advice from a nobody? why people feel the need to give unsolicited advice is beyond me. I play paladin and on my summoner i have seen some terrible paladins, but its not my place to tell them because i am not an expert at the class either ... and you are probably not an expert or as good at the class you play that you think you are.

While I don't agree with the way this is said, I agree with the sentiment behind it.

The following concerns regular content only, not raids, extreme, savage etc...

This is a video game some people play to relax after a hard days work, it's not a second job. The last thing they want is to deal with unsolicited advice, they deal with that all day at work. They don't want to deal with any sort of BS, especially not from a stranger they are unlikely to ever meet again.

Secondly, some people are bad for a reason, it can be anything from simply having slow reaction time, or bad mechanical skills, or people having some form of disabilities.

For example I'm 50, and some encounters with tons of DDR mechanics are starting to be really challenging to me. Stuff that would not have been an issue 10-20 years ago are hard now. I used to play most video games on normal or hard setting, and for the last few years it's been on normal only, and recently I had to go to easy mode on some games, realizing I'm not getting any younger. I'm not going to stop playing video games though, love them too much even if they are getting harder, or feel like they are.

[Saefinn]

For example I'm 50, and some encounters with tons of DDR mechanics are starting to be really challenging to me. Stuff that would not have been an issue 10-20 years ago are hard now. I used to play most video games on normal or hard setting, and for the last few years it's been on normal only, and recently I had to go to easy mode on some games, realizing I'm not getting any younger. I'm not going to stop playing video games though, love them too much even if they are getting harder, or feel like they are.

One of the people in my linkshell is in her 70's and has arthritis, she only plays DPS roles. She plays started playing with her daughter and loves it.

I don't think there is any harm in people asking if people want help or advice or giving it up if things aren't moving so well. But people need to be mature enough to accept if there is a reason for it, for most content it's not the end of the world and is just one of those things.

I fit into the category of hopping on after a hard day's work just wanting to take it at a chill pace because my attention span has gone. One reason I don't do anything serious on work days, I know I'm not at my best performance if half paying attention. That said, I am at work right now distracted by these forums... Maybe paying half attention is something I do here too.

[RoyalBeef]

This is a video game some people play to relax after a hard days work, it's not a second job. The last thing they want is to deal with unsolicited advice, they deal with that all day at work. They don't want to deal with any sort of BS, especially not from a stranger they are unlikely to ever meet again.

Why does the "it's not a 2nd job" argument come up anytime someone mentions they expect partymembers to deliver an acceptable performance? Would you join a band as a drummer that's not even trying, and when they're like "dude wtf, play properly" you go "Nah I just do this to relax, I get people telling me what to do all day at work, so suck it up"...what? ^^ Then go play alone in your garage, don't ruin it for 3 or 7 other people.

[SerLuke]

Why does the "it's not a 2nd job" argument come up anytime someone mentions they expect partymembers to deliver an acceptable performance? Would you join a band as a drummer that's not even trying, and when they're like "dude wtf, play properly" you go "Nah I just do this to relax, I get people telling me what to do all day at work, so suck it up"...what? ^^ Then go play alone in your garage, don't ruin it for 3 or 7 other people.

How are we defining acceptable performance? Like to me I don’t think it’s a huge deal if a typical dungeon run takes 20ish minutes instead of 15 minutes, now if a run if taking 30-45 minutes yeah sure maybe something needs to be addressed then. That being said outside I’ve trusts runs I’ve very, very rarely seen runs go that long.

[Nora_of_Mira]

This is one of the most assbackwards thinking I've ever seen in my life. You literally cannot have an opinion or voice concern if you are not 101% expert.

to play Devil's advocate, I wouldn't want a half-baked healer (no shields/regens, massive overhealing, keeps running out of mana, etc) giving me healing advice. Even if I was in the learning phase of something I was trying for the first time, not all advice is good advice.

[MrKusakabe]

if you are not in the guild that they are in or friends with you. then just shut up and deal with them sucking [...]

Why aren't they playing with their own guild. Oh, I can figure out why...


You are describing the very few encounters where I even send away Selene so she would not accidently heal these people...

[Jaelommiss]

i have always said this in every game

if you are not in the guild that they are in or friends with you. then just shut up and deal with them sucking, you are a nobody and why should i take advice from a nobody? why people feel the need to give unsolicited advice is beyond me. I play paladin and on my summoner i have seen some terrible paladins, but its not my place to tell them because i am not an expert at the class either ... and you are probably not an expert or as good at the class you play that you think you are.

i have always said this in every form of social interaction

if you are not in the same social group that they are in or friends with you. then just shut up and deal with them making social faux pas, you are a nobody and why should i take advice from a nobody? why people feel the need to give unsolicited advice is beyond me. I frequent several forums and on this forum i have seen some terrible social misteps, but its not my place to tell them because i am not an expert at social interactions either ... and you are probably not an expert or as good at the social interactions that you think you are.

[JowyAtreides]

use the auto-translate feature and call them a "donut" every time they make a mistake.

It's a game, you shouldn't be taking it so seriously.

[Driavna]

How are we defining acceptable performance? Like to me I don’t think it’s a huge deal if a typical dungeon run takes 20ish minutes instead of 15 minutes, now if a run if taking 30-45 minutes yeah sure maybe something needs to be addressed then. That being said outside I’ve trusts runs I’ve very, very rarely seen runs go that long.

That's simple: people are doing their best and trying to using the kit offered by their class as their skill level allows it. It does not even have anything to do with how long a dungeon is going to take.

I don't mind have to wipe all the times a player needs to learn a boss as long the person communicate and ask for tips and/or is willing to listen to them. I also don't mind to do smaller pulls is the healer needs them because of any reasonable reason. However, I really mind when a DPS refuses to do AoE, in ShB there are zero reasons for not using it, or a healer spamming Cure/Physic on me when is not needed or standing there doing anything.

Same for tanks refusing to adapt to the needs of the party making the run take longer and/or bad usage of CDs. I think we can also add DPS doing really low damage, my own standard is low/mid-green.

Just out of respect for the other player in your party putting the bare minimum of effort should be the norm. Sadly, is usually not and the excuse is always a variant of "does not matter".