Tactful ways to inform people that they're playing badly?

[TheForce]

Because in this hypothetical facepulling may not be the optimal strategy and possibly ranged pulling would make it go more smoothly. It was an example. If you always take suggestions as personal attacks or veiled superiority complexes I don't think the problem lies in the suggestions.

The difference is negligible, Christ who cares if it isn't the most "optimal" way of pulling. As long as the Tank can do his/her role (hold aggro, keep themselves alive, respect mechanics, not overpull to the point that it's a wipe, etc.) that's all that truly matters. Maybe the Tank in question just finds it more enjoyable to do it the other way? As long as he/she is not ruining the group, it's chill. It's okay to have a personal preference, but don't try to enforce it on someone else (especially the person who's in charge of pulling, if you want to pull like this when you're tanking, then go crazy), that is rather vain.

For example, in every single Ex Primal I tank, I always Voke first then use my ranged attack. I love how much range Voke has so it's my preferred pulling skill, and I just used the ranged attack to establish proper aggro. Is this the most "optimal" way to pull? I don't know, and I really do not care. Why? Because it works for me & it doesn't hurt anybody. If someone tried to critique me because of that method, yes I would be annoyed because there's no meaningful reason to, you're just trying to nitpick and dictate my playstyle based on what you personally want. And that is a bit disrespectful.

Also, nice assumption, just because I find issue with the "suggestion" you listed, yes, I must have some kind of personal problem and be against all feedback /eyeroll.
Come on dude, stop it. You know next to nothing about who I am or what kind of player I am, so trying to tell me about myself as you're doing right now is almost laughable. If this is how you speak to people in game (I really hope it's not), then I understand why you would you'd find yourself in conflict.

I want to tell you something: when you give out suggestions because of remedial things, you are essentially telling the other person "Hey, you don't know what you're doing. I know what's best, so do this." Even if your intent is pure, that is what it comes across as. Here is a rule of thumb I've followed for years that I've had very positive results from: As long as people are playing their roles (Tanks holding aggro and popping CDs, healers healing/shielding, DPSs doing decent damage) and respecting mechanics, and progressing through the instance, just leave them alone.

Like another great poster said, we are just fellow players, not authority figures.

[Krotoan]

The difference is negligible, Christ who cares if it isn't the most "optimal" way of pulling. As long as the Tank can do his/her role (hold aggro, keep themselves alive, respect mechanics, not overpull to the point that it's a wipe, etc.) that's all that truly matters. Maybe the Tank in question just finds it more enjoyable to do it the other way? As long as he/she is not ruining the group, it's chill. It's okay to have a personal preference, but don't try to enforce it on someone else (especially the person who's in charge of pulling, if you want to pull like this when you're tanking, then go crazy), that is rather vain.

If someone responded to my (HYPOTHETICAL) suggestion with:
A. They like tanking that way.
B. They feel it's more efficient the way they're doing it
C.I need to mind my own business

I would reply the same way: "OK".
Sounds like you're making assumptions about the interaction here. Aside from it being a purely hypothetical example, it's perfectly acceptable to make suggestions you think are helpful. I am not enforcing anything in this, again hypothetical, situation. As I said in an earlier reply I understand my suggestions may either be: Ignored, refuted, accepted and adapted without acknowledgement, or actually acknowledged and immediately implemented. Any of these are of course acceptable.

For example, in every single Ex Primal I tank, I always Voke first then use my ranged attack. I love how much range Voke has so it's my preferred pulling skill, and I just used the ranged attack to establish proper aggro. Is this the most "optimal" way to pull? I don't know, and I really do not care. Why? Because it works for me & it doesn't hurt anybody. If someone tried to critique me because of that method, yes I would be annoyed because there's no meaningful reason to, you're just trying to nitpick and dictate my playstyle based on what you personally want. And that is a bit disrespectful.

Then you're getting agitated at someones opinion who likely meant no disrespect (unless language like "you're doing this the stupid way" was used, which I did not use) and only saw an opportunity to optimize.

Also, nice assumption, just because I find issue with the "suggestion" you listed, yes, I must have some kind of personal problem and be against all feedback /eyeroll.
Come on dude, stop it. You know next to nothing about who I am or what kind of player I am, so trying to tell me about myself as you're doing right now is almost laughable. If this is how you speak to people in game (I really hope it's not), then I understand why you would you'd find yourself in conflict.

I made no assumptions, I made an observation that if someone takes every single critique or suggestion with the (completely unstated) inflection of arrogance, disrespect, and above all a critique on you as a person, then the problem is not the suggestions, it's how they're taking them. Yes, I know absolutely nothing about you, except now I know that you seem to have a rather negative view of people who want to share their opinions about something you're doing. The suggestion I made was very neutral and non-antagonistic. If you're going to swing it into full negative "I don't care about what you think stop trying to play the game for me" mode I cannot help how you read things.

I want to tell you something: when you give out suggestions because of remedial things, you are essentially telling the other person "Hey, you don't know what you're doing. I know what's best, so do this." Even if your intent is pure, that is what it comes across as.

This is entirely up to the person receiving the information. Everyone reacts differently. The few times I've had a suggestion during gameplay I've generally gotten neutral to thankful replies.... and one very confusing non-sequitur.

Here is a rule of thumb I've followed for years that I've had very positive results from: As long as people are playing their roles (Tanks holding aggro and popping CDs, healers healing/shielding, DPSs doing decent damage) and respecting mechanics, and progressing through the instance, just leave them alone.

For the most part I say nothing during runs. I just get them done and as long as we aren't taking a full timer count to finish an instance I will remain silent. BUT if I see something that could be , of course in my opinion, EASIER or FASTER I will say something but I don't expect change. I simply have tried and that's enough to satisfy my own wants. You have taken my one hypothetical (I can provide other more obviously optimal hypotheticals if you'd like) and blown it into me forcing my views and standards on others, which it was not.

Like another great poster said, we are just fellow players, not authority figures.

And as one player to another, suggestions aren't personal attacks or authoritative commands, they are just suggestions. If I tell you that your way sucks then by all means go off, but if I suggest something might be better done a different way and you don't like/want the suggestion? How hard is it to say "nah".