Is it me or has the community gotten worse...

[HWalsh]

There are ways to offer criticism without being a neanderthal about it.

"You're bad!" Or "Stop being bad!"

Is a neanderthal comment.

Try: "Hey, I noticed that you're not using X in your rotation, if you added it in, it would raise your damage by a pretty good bit."

Or

"I noticed on that last pull you seem to forget to use some of your defensive cooldowns. It would help our healers quite a bit if you could use them more often."

Or

"That enemy does a big hit against anything in its forward arc, even though it doesn't have an AoE warning cone. Make sure to stand off to the side rather than where I'm standing, that'swhy I'm trying to face it away from you guys." (As the tank)

I've used all 3 of those (and no, I don't parse) and haven't gotten any flak from players.

[Gula]

The toxicity is getting worse - and while it really IS because of the influx of players from other games, let me touch on something:

SE -ACTUALLY- disciplines people in this game and is NOT afraid to suspend or ban an account. When you encounter people that are toxic like this, DO report them. I know that a lot of folks in this community just like to move on and ignore toxic behavior but let me tell you: That is EXACTLY why we have toxic people. DO NOT just put up with it, ignore them and move on. Report them so that toxic player's are given warnings, suspensions and/or bans. It helps keep the community friendly. Once they start getting away with it, it will start happening more and more until it's out of control.

Take action when you see things like this.

This. This right here.

I have brought up the importance of taking action, and I have been met with brushing off and variants of "it's not a big deal." I am glad to see someone else getting to the heart of it. It may seem like pettiness for the sheer volume of it, but it does not do a community good when you allow yourself and others to sit in a lukewarm cess pool then say, "Man I wish the water was a bit cleaner."

[JohnSpawnVFX]

They are not.
One does control his emotions, other ones doesnt and just wishes you to get cancer or some stuff like that. Its not the same, its completely different level.
Sarcasm is not the same level as the dead wishes.

Hiding your emotions with sarcasm doesn't mean you're controlling them. You're basically just lashing out politely so you don't look bad, forgetting that the content of what you're saying is more important than how it is presented.
Not to mention it's harder to recognize hostility with passive-agressiveness meaning the agressor has more time and opportunities to harm you in any way.

This. This right here.

I have brought up the importance of taking action, and I have been met with brushing off and variants of "it's not a big deal." I am glad to see someone else getting to the heart of it. It may seem like pettiness for the sheer volume of it, but it does not do a community good when you allow yourself and others to sit in a lukewarm cess pool then say, "Man I wish the water was a bit cleaner."

Except many people use the report system more as a "please go silence people I don't like/saying things that upset me" than actual problems.

[Rivxkobe]

haven't gotten any flak from players.

Lucky for you.

I have not been as lucky.

As an example, to compare, I once said "Could you please use a few Defensive Cooldowns during pulls? It'll make it smoother and easier to heal through."

Was berated that I should leave them alone and the other DPS said that they are "new" and that I should leave them alone and let them play how they want.

Another time I asked if it was okay if I pulled big and the healer said "sure". I did, we wiped and the healer said "..." and I replied "Oh. My b, that was probably too much. I'll try pulling less." I got IMMEDIATELY kicked.

/shrug

FFXIV's Community isn't that toxic but let's not act like being nice or lighthearted is always going to be met with a positive response.

[HyoMinPark]

I've used all 3 of those (and no, I don't parse) and haven't gotten any flak from players.

Conversely, I’ve used very similar phrasing when I offer advice, and I get told to go F myself.

Some people in this game don’t want to be given advice, or see any sort of constructive criticism as a personal attack. So I just don’t give it anymore outside of threads made on here specifically asking for it, or if someone messages me on Discord asking for advice.

[Gula]

Except many people use the report system more as a "please go silence people I don't like/saying things that upset me" than actual problems.

No matter what the system is, as long as it exists, people will abuse it. So really, why not make the effort of betterment?

[Ayuhra]

There are ways to offer criticism without being a neanderthal about it.

"You're bad!" Or "Stop being bad!"

Is a neanderthal comment.

Try: "Hey, I noticed that you're not using X in your rotation, if you added it in, it would raise your damage by a pretty good bit."

Or

"I noticed on that last pull you seem to forget to use some of your defensive cooldowns. It would help our healers quite a bit if you could use them more often."

Or

"That enemy does a big hit against anything in its forward arc, even though it doesn't have an AoE warning cone. Make sure to stand off to the side rather than where I'm standing, that'swhy I'm trying to face it away from you guys." (As the tank)

I've used all 3 of those (and no, I don't parse) and haven't gotten any flak from players.

See, now, I've never had issues with people giving me advice, even if they seem terse about it (you can only type so much mid dungeon). To me that's not toxic.

The guy who gave advice on BLM AoE when I was still figuring out BLM was not toxic, despite being terse.

The guy who said "Of course the pet goes to the s****y BLM" was toxic. (word was not censored)

The guy who brought a guildie into an Alexander run to point out how awful I was so he and the guildie could both jeer at me ("Hey Ayuh'ra, I hear you are really bad!" "CONFIRMED!") was super toxic. That one stuck with me in my soul since I had already been having a bad day for reasons that had nothing to do with the game.

And then there are the people who complain about things like droprates. People complaining about RNG or yelling at the game don't bother me at all..

[Machi_Machiavelli]

SE should add an sfw and nsfw - esque duty queue. Maybe it could do like the profanity filter. It would replace everyone's comments in party with "******".

[ElazulHP]

Don't go to REDDIT. you WILL be downvoted for going against group think. :c

You'll get downvoted on Reddit for literally anything. There are people that will just downvote everyone for no reason at all. I got downvoted for giving someone helpful technical advice that solved their problem once lol...

EDIT: On topic I think the community is more or less the same. It's a typical online community with good people and bad people to be found. I will say one thing though. Square is very good at taking care of the bad people in game so props to them for that.

[Melichoir]

No matter what the system is, as long as it exists, people will abuse it. So really, why not make the effort of betterment?

Because this isnt an effort to make things better.

Gonna be frank and people may not like to hear this but there are varying degrees of being toxic. Someone telling you that you suck and being mean I dont find as a reportable offense. Is it offensive, rude, and crappy to hear at times? Sure is. It stings at times too cause it gets under our skin or makes us feel a little bad at times. But that is quite literally life. There are gonna be people who are a bit rude to you. Instead of saying "Im gonna ruin your entire gaming experience by getting you suspended/banned because you were a bit mean to me," perhaps people need to get a bit tougher and dont let other people so easily define their feelings for them. Why should a complete stranger make you feel bad? Why is there opinion or meanie words defining how you feel?

This isnt to say that people shouldnt report. If youre getting constantly harassed by a specific person, that theyre going out of their way to cause trouble for you. Singling you out and over and over and over going after you or trolling you. Yeah, report that. Thats a different level of toxicity that does need to be addressed at that point.

But to go to the "Report people if theyre rude to me or say something mean" mind set doesnt solve anything. It just makes the problem worse. You just become emotionally weaker and more prone to being unable to cope with mean or rude people, which means youll be more prone to file reports. And if the community culture shifts over to "Im gonna report people for the pettiest of mean comments or crude jokes", then were gonna end up with a situation where its better to 'strike first' and report someone before they report you. That or we'll end up in a situation where people wont speak their mind because theyre afraid of getting reported and banned. In either case, its gonna turn into people not having fun for fear of the report function.

And this doesnt even address possible grains of truth in people's comments. If youre constantly being told "You suck" or "Youre bad" by complete strangers, when do you start saying "Hmmm there's a pattern here, and Im the common factor." Ive seen people be blunt and tell people they suck over a simple mistake. It's dumb. But Ive seen that same bluntness to call out players who ARE bad and make progress difficult for everyone involved. Sometimes when people say you suck, its cause you do. Sometimes when people tell it to you, its calling you out on an obvious mistake. Sometimes it's them being stupid. You have to be real about things and learn when theyre calling you out and adjust your gameplay vs when theyre being an ass.

In the end though, way I see it is if youve used the report function more than 20-30 times in the last few months over 'toxic' behavior, the problem is probably you and not the community.