The days prior to the Sundering were ones of monstrous act after monstrous act being performed under circumstances where pretty much every conceivable course of action was a bad one. Summoning Zodiark and the methods for doing so were unconscionable, and yet at the same time I can't really fault the Council for doing so (at least, at our current understanding of the situation).
The best you can say about the Sundering was that it was slightly less bad than the planned murders would have been, and that's IF you agree that memory erasure does not constitute murder. (If you do consider amnesia to be murder, then it's actually worse, since all the planned murder victims were murdered anyway, and everyone else save three were murdered as well.) I'm torn on whether it is or not, and it largely depends on how much of the individual's personality was left intact. In either case, I'd say the Sundering was still a terrible act - but just one more in a long line of terrible, yet arguably necessary acts.
I don't hold Hydaelyn responsible, though - and this is because I no longer really regard Hydaelyn as an entity in her own right. She's a construct, built to do what her summoners created her for. Whether they intended for her to do what she did or not, she believed it was necessary to accomplish her creators' desires. The ones at fault are her summoners, and every one of them is now Sundered (unless it turns out that, in a twist, Elidibus is one of the folks who advocated her Summoning, and has since had a change of heart).
I do feel that Hydaelyn is a benign, benevolent entity NOW, with free agency for existing life as a high priority on her agenda (superseded only, perhaps, by ensuring that efforts of the Ascians to return things to the way they were are thwarted). But what she did with the Sundering could be construed as being as bad morally as what the Ascians are trying to do to reverse it.
This, interestingly, was basically the plot of the Wings of the Goddess expansion for FFXI. The world was doomed to a bitter stalemate in the war against the Shadowlord. The Goddess of Vana'diel, Altana, couldn't stand the suffering, and so influenced things so that an extraordinarily unlikely timeline, one in which the Shadowlord was slain, became the TRUE timeline. However, the original timeline still existed, and the "heroes" within it (closer to embittered anti-heroes, forced to make sacrifice after sacrifice for generations just to keep the Shadowlord at bay) couldn't bear the idea that all their hard work and suffering had been for nothing. Worse, an entity called Atomos existed, whose entire purpose was to devour superfluous timelines, and it was possible that theirs would be on the menu. They became determined to take their rightful place in the timeline, Altana be damned, and used time travel to set what went right wrong again.
I personally thought it was fantastic to see a plotline seriously address the question of what happens to the original timeline when you muck about with time. WotG wasn't my favorite FFXI expansion, but I loved the story nonetheless.
In the case of the Exarch, though, there was no stalemate. what they were facing was the gradual end of days. If it was an ongoing struggle for survival, it was one they were LOSING. It's certainly possible that the survivors decided that their own lives were less important than ensuring a timeline was created where none of that happened in the first place. Not too unlike the voluntary sacrifices by the Ancients to bring Zodiark about to save them!



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