I can do one better:

Make HP of enemies = 0
Don't stand in bad areas.

There's everything you need to know about FFXIV in all its content. Just put those two lines in an email when someone comes back.

Everything else you simply learn while doing. Everything else, the general community has a duty to teach. A duty that you all like to try to get out of with these silly threads. Not going to happen. You're responsible. So buck up, take responsibility and teach the newcomers and the returners. Thats on you all.

Don't pass the buck. Don't be the problem. Be the solution.