The threat system of Shadowbringers is a joke, you click on 1 aoe button and every mobs attack you. The only way to fuck this up is by miscalculating the aoe range of your spell.

In general, there is 2 cases where a dps pulls before the tank : first is when everyone see that the group is doing great (good healer, good tank, good dps) and that dps are helping the tank by pulling some mobs (if done correctly it's always nice, even if not needed if the tank knows his stuff) / second is when the tank is slow as a snail, and waits 4 seconds before EVERY PULL and when he does pull it's 1-2 mobs at a time. And it's not even adjusting to the group's level, it's just a lack of knowledge on his tanking capabilities.

A good tank will rarely face a wild puller, because he will be ahead of the group and charging at the right times. A bad tank (aka "I wait 5sec in front of a boss when everyone is ready, or I pull 2 mobs at a time for the whole dungeon) will face this kind of situations... but he's often at fault for being slow. ALSO ALSO, I see MANY tanks failing at using the good threat spells at the right times... even if you have only 2 main spells (the single target range attack, and the aoe one) : USE THE AOE, SPAM THE FUCK OUT OF THE AOE, DON'T USE THE RANGE ATTACK ONLY, YOUR DPS WILL AOE MOBS DOWN ON THE MOVE IF THEY CAN, USE THE RANGED ATTACK ONLY IF THEIR ARE FEW TARGETS ON YOUR PATH AND THEY ARE FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHERS. That's it.

We all have a job to do : healers need to heal / dps need to dps (and let's face it : MANY dps don't know what an aoe rotation is. I have seen many "Ice" BLM. The fun part is that, when you tell them to click on their FIRE SPELLS, they say stuff like "I'm tired today, I want to sleep, I don't have the strenght to press the rotation so I just use infinite MP ice spells lul" or "I used them now, happy lol ?") / and tanks need to pace the dungeon well (because tanking is a non ussie in itself). Can you understand that a dps has to wait much more than you in queue, and when he's in, he sees his tank pulling 1 weak pack at a time ? For the whole dungeon ? That's infuriating.

So yeah, don't be petty. Press your god damn threat generating spells and do your job. Instead of being a "He DoeS NoT REsPeCT mE As ThE TaNK" manchild, press your god damn buttons and lean how to pace the dungeon.

And to the "try to communicate with your tank " argument, the problem is that some tanks will indeed be petty and refuse to do so BECAUSE you asked them. "I will not be ordered around, I'm the tank, you will do as I say", it's not that rare to hear it.