About: Dungeon "anxiety", Being afraid of failing or getting back into the game

[KokonoeAiyoko]

Greetings, Mr. Kusakabe.

I want to offer you a perspective that will be unlike what you'll generally see on this forum. As someone who also has anxiety when doing certain things, I definitely understand how you feel. I am actually quite competent in this game as I've been here since 2.0 launch and have a vast amount of experience playing throughout the timeline of this game. So in that regard we differ, but I point it out that I still get bits of anxiety despite my skill, despite my experience for one reason... That reason is when I start delving into the unknown. It's as if my experience betrays my emotions so this is really a self confidence issue and what actually smashes this feeling is facing your fear head on and becoming experienced with the content.

Try to win, but if you fail the content that's okay! It's okay to be bad at this game and that's something no one will say to you but I will. At the end of the day if you tried it doesn't matter if you are bad, the fact that the effort was put in to be better, to try to win is all that is required. Every step forward is progression into being better than yesterday, that's how you should approach this. Don't compare yourself to people who have mastered the game, set that as your goal, but understand it is one that requires time.

Everyone starts somewhere, including all of these veterans. They didn't start out as these elite adventurers, it took experience. You will get there my friend, just take solace in that it's okay to be a novice it's okay to not be "great". And the more you get out there the better you will become, the less anxiety you will feel. I'm rooting for you!

[Kalise]

Am I not getting downlevelled and taken away everything like in FATEs?

You are, but the item level that you get sync'd down to is much higher than average for the content. Much, much higher.

Meaning that while you lose most of your skills, you'll still be hitting for 50%-300% more damage than someone who's at the appropriate level (It varies based on exactly where you're sync'd too... It's much worse for level 15-30ish duties, and starts to get a bit better around level cap content (50 and 60) but it's still not great most of the time)

It's a similar thing to if you're doing FATEs too. Like, if you run your level 50+ job into a level 3 FATE, you'll be sync'd down to like level 9 and will be 1-2 shotting the enemies in it...

Makes it a real FeelsBadMan moment when you need to do a low level FATE and low level new players can't do much in them because you kill everything too fast ;_;

[Veis_Alveare]

OP - if you honestly care about doing well and put on a bit of effort to get and remain informed about how your chosen class plays you'll be doing better than the vast majority of people in Duty Finder.

If you have discord I'd recommend joining the Balance discord, they remain up to date with good guides on things like rotations, optimizations, gearing and stat priorities. Not all of it will matter to you depending on the level of content you do but having even a passing understanding of these things will serve you well. It's a good one-stop-shop for all things you might want to know or learn about surrounding gameplay and has a great community for asking questions as well.

https://discord.gg/CjQkEn3

[Sanctify]

Believe it or not there was a time when people didn't get anxiety when running dungeons for the first time or returning to the game ect. Back when ppl wouldnt whine and would just get good. I miss those days.

[AxlStream]

Overthinking it as usual...

[Keddera_StormMoon]

Guess what, this helped me a bit indeed.
Because I know when there are slackers out there, the bar is a bit lower.
Not sure if that is good or bad though... :-)

If it helps - this was the attitude I had about finally leveling a tank.

I had a LOT of Tanxiety. But one day after healing a grossly under-geared tank that just didn't care, I decided the DF needed a tank like me who did.

So I geared up and toughed it out till I got over it. Anytime it got rough, I just told myself "DF needs Tanks that care about their gear like I do" and reforged my determination.

You care enough to do well - the DF needs you. That's all we need.

[van_arn]

Just give yourself permission to be bad, yet require yourself to be better each run.

Problems solved in days.

[Sated]

I'm pretty similar.

I come from over a decade of hardcore WoW where I was intimately familiar on every role with each dungeon's mobs and pathing and mechanics, and if I wasn't carrying a pug I had a network of friends I could rely on to group with. I have none of that in FFXIV and the anxiety it causes is paralyzing.

Most people in this game are kind and accommodating and I just feel awful about potentially disappointing them by failing to meet their expectations (so the silver lining when someone is being toxic about a run is that there's at least one person I don't care about disappointing).

I do not do roulettes on my main and have pretty much only done MSQ dungeons with the help of my friend. I'm familiar enough with the maps and mechanics of early MSQ dungeons to DPS and heal them as I'm leveling my alts but as I'm getting into higher level dungeons into 50+ content I'm starting to feel it again.

Fortunately I don't see any point in doing roulette anyway, so it hasn't been a huge problem except for MSQ which I'm hoping Trusts can help with.

I still get bits of anxiety despite my skill, despite my experience for one reason... That reason is when I start delving into the unknown.

Oddly enough this is where I excel and the one time my anxiety isn't bad. As long as I'm not the only one delving I'm more than eager to queue into the unknown because there are no mystery expectations.

I'm really looking forward to ShB because it will be equally new to everyone and while I will still be a bit anxious about my performance on jobs (all of them seem to have too many abilities for both my keyboard and physical comfort) I'm a quick study with mechanics and very situationally aware, so new content is my element.

[CptEgo]

I'm fucking terrible and I haven't had any shit from anyone, although I have only been playing for a few months. I also don't give other people any shit when they suck.

[Mirassou]

I'm newly returned, and I have a bit of dungeon anxiety. Good grief, I came back and I have a long list of dungeons to do already!

So I'm going to watch/read a guide or two on a dungeon, then queue up, tell folks hello and I'm new, and then do my best. I like this game and want to progress. The worst thing that can happen is I make mistakes and/or I get kicked and/or "people say mean things to me".

I've decided I can handle all of those things, without my self-esteem taking a hit. I look at it as a decision that I need to make.

There are a lot of things in this life that I can feel bad about, but I've decided my video game performance is not one of them. (Don't misunderstand me - I want to be a good player who contributes, but I have to start somewhere.)

I hope others who are worried can hit their stride and move forward, remembering to treat others with kindness and understanding as they progress.