About: Dungeon "anxiety", Being afraid of failing or getting back into the game

[Keddera_StormMoon]

Getting anxiety usually means you care about doing well.

Frankly, the DF could use more people like you who actually CARE to do well. Because too many don't care.

[MrKusakabe]

Probably because it's only a video game! If you fail, no one really dies, no one loses access to the game. Maybe someone gets slightly irritated, but probably not. Just a quick "Hey, haven't played in a long time, re-learning my class" can go a long way.

But!

Having a bit of confidence first is a good thing.

So I recommend finding a training dummy, and just practicing your rotations against it. Or even Palace of the Dead, which is super easy so it's a great place to get practice in. (Try it solo, and start at level 1, so you can slowly learn the class ability by ability!)

Red Mage is a fairly simple ranged DPS class, so I don't foresee you having too much trouble. If you're really struggling, you can check out a brief Youtube guide on the ideal way to play the class, but I think with a little practice you'll figure it out no problem.

You know, I always think the same. But I can also understand when people want a player that does not die at every friggin move a boss does. Imagine me, let's say, in Qarn (this was the first dungeon I struggled with in 2013^^) when you die 3x there, 2x there, at the boss, at the crocodiles... I mean, who would enjoy that? Not me for sure. And my group is maybe getting wiped, too.

Palace of the Dead is new to me. I gotta read more into that.

Thanks Mr. Smith.

[MrKusakabe]

In all honesty, it's not that bad.

Especially in lower level dungeons.

Basically, everything that isn't level 60+ is pretty easy these days and quite forgiving for new players. If anything, the biggest issue is actually trying to do something before a high level player that is sync'd down decimates everything in like 2 spells (Which, would include yourself as a RDM queuing into Sastasha )

Am I not getting downlevelled and taken away everything like in FATEs?

[...] hitting some enemies, triggering a bunch of traps that make you feel like an idiot [...]

Sounds like this is the right place for me!!

[MrKusakabe]

Since you're on my realm I'd be happy to run stuff with you too, pressure free, if you catch me online (ign: Liam Harper)

Good luck

Thank you very much Mr. Harper. (Oh my... Out of my head, Chuck!!)
You're the second one offering a helping hand on Zodiark. Very appreciated!

Just like with the first invite, the reason why I am very so-and-so about that is that I'd like to lose my training wheels first. If there is a specific dungeon I keep failing at, I'd come back to your offer for sure. But right now, I need more of a kick in my butt. If I go with relaxing groups, I basically do not tackle the main issue. I just cover up my mental problem with make-up, but eventually, I have to go with all randoms, and then I am here again. I hope you get what I try to say.

[MrKusakabe]

I never understood why people get so nervous about running dungeons.

I know people clearly have anxiety, but its not a high-stakes scenario.

But honestly when you do dungeons with randoms the worst that can happen is that they will kick you. If they say bad stuff to you, report for harassment.

But i can understand the idea of getting nervous when tanking or healing.

When tanking you have the job of staying alive, while also maintaining aggro. If you die and your healer or SMN/RDM isn't quick enough to rez you it can cause a wipe. And i can understand that being scary since you dying caused this.

With healing its kind of the same deal, keep the tank and group alive. You can't keep tank alive, its a wipe.

But there are more factors to it. Was the tank popping defensives during big pulls? No? Then it was the tank's fault for not doing so.

Was the healer dpsing too much and didn't use oGCD's to help keep the tank alive? Then its the healer's fault.

I think people are too hard on themselves. If your healer is a legit potato then its not your fault if you can't stay alive.

If your tank is using wet paper for armor, then its not your fault you couldn't keep them alive.

Hey there!

Well, I am actually very relaxed when healing. Why? I don't feel as replacable, and picking a healer is, at least in my opinion, associated with friendly, helpful mindsets. Who would be mad at a paramedic (or firefighter?).
DPS professions on the other hand have this "Hurr Durr I want to make big numbers and healing/taking is for pus..." sort of thing. As Blackmage, I tried always to be "correct" and courteous - just like a monocle-wearing Lalafell Blackmage.
And tanks, well, they lead the party. Period.

So this is where my problem comes from.

[MrKusakabe]

i never understood dungeon anxiety either. maybe its becuz im really alpha and radiate confidence at all times???

It is a very personal issue. I also think the choice of professions and species (or "race" as many call it) might also go into play. Can you imagine a buff and confident player picking a Lalafell healer ingame?

Now look at your avatar: You look like a guy from the MegaDrive game "GOLDEN AXE" for some reason, main class "Dark Knight". You don't know what anxiety is in this matter and could never understand it.

This is impressive, but I don't have this in ingame environments. More so in real life...some a-hole customers of our store know that...

[MrKusakabe]

I'm a nervous person with anxiety and generalised dungeon fears (!), but if you're just running small stuff and need someone to share the trauma, I can tank or heal for you. Tanking may be better, though! We're on the same server, so just look for or message/mogmail Cheeze Toastie and see if I'm available. Just offering to do this is scary for me (!), but I will do my best to get you and your friend through early dungeons so you have a chance to learn stuff at your pace with no harsh judging. You find someone else with a similar outlook for the last spot and it's good.

As for RDM, I just recently started having a look at it myself, and as with any job the best starter advice is to read those tool tips. I also used this Reddit link here and the image it has up as a basic reference chart. You won't have all the skills on there in early dungeons, obviously, but follow the order with what you have and add them as you go. And use Scatter for 3 or more mobs as per standard AoE rules.

Thank you so much for this nice offer, Mrs...Toastie!

"Sharing the trauma" made me smile This flowchart is nice! I've seen a different one that looked half-assed, but this one is really like a good start. Almost as helpful as the Wendy's training VHS video on how to make a good burger.

I would come back to the helping hand of yours when I have a specific problem though. Why? I would not tackle my problem. Imagine we do run something, all is good. But then, I'd need to pug up with randoms and I am here again.

But thank you very much for your nice words

[MrKusakabe]

Getting anxiety usually means you care about doing well.

Frankly, the DF could use more people like you who actually CARE to do well. Because too many don't care.

Guess what, this helped me a bit indeed.
Because I know when there are slackers out there, the bar is a bit lower.
Not sure if that is good or bad though... :-)

[Gemina]

I never understood why people get so nervous about running dungeons.

I know people clearly have anxiety, but its not a high-stakes scenario.

Everyone has anxiety. It's a mechanism the brain uses in order to warn of and escape danger (fight or flight response). People with an anxiety issue will perceive something that is non-threatening as a threat. Facing said situation will trigger the same increased heartrate and adrenalin as someone who is about to go into an actual battle, or competition with high stakes, or where injury is imminent. The best way to understand it is to recall a time in your own life where you had such a response. Maybe someone wanted to fight you in school, you were in competitive sports and made it to the championship, you served in the military, etc.

What sucks is that we are fully aware that it's a dungeon. The stakes are not high and we know we are not in any real danger. However, something in our brains are miswired and this response goes off anyway. This is when anxiety becomes a disorder, because it interferes with activity most people don't have a problem doing.

[Ceridwenae]

Thank you so much for this nice offer, Mrs...Toastie!

"Sharing the trauma" made me smile This flowchart is nice! I've seen a different one that looked half-assed, but this one is really like a good start. Almost as helpful as the Wendy's training VHS video on how to make a good burger.

I would come back to the helping hand of yours when I have a specific problem though. Why? I would not tackle my problem. Imagine we do run something, all is good. But then, I'd need to pug up with randoms and I am here again.

But thank you very much for your nice words

You're very welcome, and I totally understand where you're coming from! You just let me know if there's anything I can help with at any point. The offer will stand!