Why are standards seen as a crime in this game?

[Jeeqbit]

It's completely mind boggling that this is considered acceptable by a large part of the community.

It's not that it's acceptable; it's that it's not worth making a fuss over. If people get hit by things, heal them. If people die, solo it yourself. Make up for their shortcomings with your own skill. No need to make a fuss over it; if they want to improve they will and if they want to underperform then, it's whatever if it's not extreme, savage or ultimate.

if you criticize their actions because they don't understand basic game mechanics at pretty high levels if not max level itself, respond with insults, toxicity, "you don't pay my sub", "i'm new so i'm entitled to wiping raids because im learning", "i play how i want to", "you don't control my account" and so on

They aren't wrong about these things. If they want to learn they will go and seek out knowledge. It's their sub!

And if you don't say anything to them, you get called a toxic elitist for choosing not to help them.

Never experienced this. If they ask for help, give it politely otherwise leave them be - simple solution I think.

In the vast majority of other MMOs, if you are a bad player, you will be called a bad player, people will try to help, you are given the opportunity to improve and stop being a bad player.

Those MMOs are not very chilled out then. They need to chill out. It's a game that you play for fun in your spare time. Shouldn't take it so seriously, as if said person is a qualified engineer and doing an incompetent job at engineering. It's just a game. You and I may play too much and take it seriously like that but consider that the majority do not. As long as they are having fun getting hit by mechanics always, it's whatever (if it's not extreme, savage or ultimate).