Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[MisterMKay]

Sometimes I feel like this community is getting more and more toxic as time goes on, both in newer and in older content alike. They're not patient with new comers any more, people are way more vocally rude now, everyone is rush rush rush. I get that going content over and over again gets old but if you're not going to be a team player or you're already in a bad mood, perhaps take some time to do things that aren't group activities. Hopefully we can discourage troll like behavior and keep them either off the game or at the very least, unacknowledged and silenced to themselves.

This thread always serves as a wonderful reminder of many things:
1. Some people are just gonna be mean for whatever reason just because and there's nothing you can do about it.
2. Those same people are easily countered by patient people and those with fun, out going personalities making group content more enjoyable. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to just play and have fun and for being understanding of newer or less educated players. Hopefully we can go back to the days where that's more the norm again.

This. I've been leveling up MRD and got to finally tank Sastasha. Me, SCH, NIN, ARC. I was understandably nervous and tanked what I was comfortable tanking: about 3-4 mobs at a time. The SCH who was with me decided that wasn't good enough and decided to start pulling stuff since apparently SCH is now a tank. Like, I'm sorry I'm not fast enough and you want to rush through, but it'd be nice if you took my lead and just went with it especially after I mentioned it was my first time tanking. I started tanking 2-3 pulls at a time to keep the SCH busy, but that's because I felt passive aggressive. But a little patience goes a long way for everyone and makes the content so much more fun, even the old ARR stuff.

[LittleChickenNugget]

This. I've been leveling up MRD and got to finally tank Sastasha. Me, SCH, NIN, ARC. I was understandably nervous and tanked what I was comfortable tanking: about 3-4 mobs at a time. The SCH who was with me decided that wasn't good enough and decided to start pulling stuff since apparently SCH is now a tank. Like, I'm sorry I'm not fast enough and you want to rush through, but it'd be nice if you took my lead and just went with it especially after I mentioned it was my first time tanking. I started tanking 2-3 pulls at a time to keep the SCH busy, but that's because I felt passive aggressive. But a little patience goes a long way for everyone and makes the content so much more fun, even the old ARR stuff.

I was just in a run very similar to this actually. Was leveling up my paladin alt when I had a level 59 WHM who just couldn't stand giving me a second to pull the mobs and get aggro. I was even pulling multiple packs and they were letting me die over and over again because they just wanted to DPS instead of heal. Eventually I got kicked for standing back and letting the WHM tank; they were with their friend, I wasn't going to win that battle at all. Joined another dungeon immediately after, things went smooth as butter.

People wonder why they always have to wait on tanks and complain about not enough people tanking and then they don't see they act like this lol.

[Ceridwenae]

Tank stuff.

Did the SCH actually say to you it wasn't good enough? It's possible, if not, they were trying to tell you you can pull more because they have your back and feel confident in their healing abilities. If no one died, and you were able to keep aggro, then it's not entirely the end of the world. Still, they should've respected your newness and actually verbally communicated this with you in chat if it was the case. And it's always worth doing the first few mob pulls carefully so you can assess your party's healing and DPS output.

That said, you're off-and-on going to run into this, so don't let it put you off. My hubby was doing a lvl 70 roulette as tank a few weeks back, and the healer quit because the pulls were too small. Hubby had already established since one of the DPS was new he was going to be a bit more gentle with the pulls (and the DPS had not objected), but the healer apparently didn't care and left. Then again, sometimes you'll get a healer that's relaxed about it and doesn't care about your pull sizes, more your comfort. Then you'll get one that wants to "help" and pull mobs and bring them back to you. Just be mentally prepared that there all sorts out there, and you can only adapt where possible.

Also, I've had a healer I didn't know let me die one time when MRDing in Sastasha because I wanted two more mobs (and my aggro management and their healing was absolutely fine); then my first time out as a GLA on an alt was completely horrible because the entire rest of the party wanted to speed through even though I'd said I was new. To be fair, it opened my eyes very widely to what tanking can entail - not all the time, just some of it. But if you want to tank at a certain speed when learning, you have to stand your ground on occasion. Don't be afraid to do it. After all, if you're kicked for this, the people you were running with may have a longer wait for a replacement than you'll have for getting back into the duty. Just be prepared to work on big pulls as often as possible, especially if your healer and DPS are on board. I'm editing here just to say that healing can have some downtime that leaves a healer bored (as opposed to spikes of oh no, no no, moments which it also can have). If your healer is bored, feel free to make it more interesting for them - assuming they agree to it, of course.

I've found the only way to avoid this uncertainty about who you're running with is to run 100% with a pocket healer, which is my method-of-choice. I prefer to work with my husband, as I know he has my back, and vice versa. When I'm not feeling confident enough to be his pocket healer, I'm his pocket bard, helping to ensure his TP remains in a nice place for those big pulls. We communicate over Discord, and adjust our runs accordingly.

[Banriikku]

Healer pulls ? No, just a big no. The healer/dd decides how the tank has to do things ? No. A good group will work together and adjust to the playerskills and gear. I see a lots of new tanks doing big pulls and not having the skill or the gear to do this. Respect is important. If you dont cant afford this go away.
Rabanstre - besides 4 or 5 people the rest of the raid decided for Hashmal mechanics are not needed. 3 Wipes and a book full of explanation until they understood.
Orbone - my buddy posted his guide for orlando and nobody cares. The result wipe and a lot of salt. After a whole alliance has left we got a full raid together and wiped again because people standing aoe. Over a hour later we beat the last boss. No dps, no mechanics, early pulls from a mentor (he was a bard) and salt. I like to play healer but not like this.

[MetalSnakeXI1]

Sometimes I feel like this community is getting more and more toxic as time goes on, both in newer and in older content alike. They're not patient with new comers any more, people are way more vocally rude now, everyone is rush rush rush. I get that going content over and over again gets old but if you're not going to be a team player or you're already in a bad mood, perhaps take some time to do things that aren't group activities. Hopefully we can discourage troll like behavior and keep them either off the game or at the very least, unacknowledged and silenced to themselves.

This thread always serves as a wonderful reminder of many things:
1. Some people are just gonna be mean for whatever reason just because and there's nothing you can do about it.
2. Those same people are easily countered by patient people and those with fun, out going personalities making group content more enjoyable. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to just play and have fun and for being understanding of newer or less educated players. Hopefully we can go back to the days where that's more the norm again.

I feel that's especially more common with alliance raids specifically where it's harder to control the behavior of the harassing individual when there is 24 people

This feeling of entitlement where this type of people behave like as if the game was made for them and them alone infuriates me to no end.I usually try my best to not vote kick if I can by as my tolerance to this type of people grow less and less by the day I found myself vote kicking anyone who I find to be behaving like an asshat towards the rest of the team.

I try my best to teach mechanics to new players nowadays whenever I can (y'know,like what a mentor is supposed to do unlike most of the burger kings we find playing this game...I know im sound like im striking my ego but after meeting a dozen bad mentors can u blame me?)but that gets even harder when tanks(and sometimes even a dps or healer) are turbo pulling through everything as if the instance is on a 10 minute timer or something.

The best thing we can do is try and counter those as much as we can.

If they're vocally rude I won't stay silent and let them get their way and if they're actively ruining the experience for everyone I'll do everything in my power to see them kicked from the instance the same way I did with the griefing monk from Alliance C in Dun Scaith.

I know this might sound like a threat unintentionally but like I said I can't and won't tolerate behavior like this anymore and I hope a lot of people here are on the same page as me and you are

Healer pulls ? No, just a big no. The healer/dd decides how the tank has to do things ? No. A good group will work together and adjust to the playerskills and gear. I see a lots of new tanks doing big pulls and not having the skill or the gear to do this. Respect is important. If you dont cant afford this go away.
Rabanstre - besides 4 or 5 people the rest of the raid decided for Hashmal mechanics are not needed. 3 Wipes and a book full of explanation until they understood.
Orbone - my buddy posted his guide for orlando and nobody cares. The result wipe and a lot of salt. After a whole alliance has left we got a full raid together and wiped again because people standing aoe. Over a hour later we beat the last boss. No dps, no mechanics, early pulls from a mentor (he was a bard) and salt. I like to play healer but not like this.

I once had a run in Orbonne where the healer in our alliance kept pulling every single boss the moment they entered the boss arena with the excuse that "they're gonna be late for work and wanted to squeeze in one more run before their shift comes in"

[AxHell]

You're a sprout? That's fine.
It's your first time doing this dungeon, or, you haven't done this dungeon in quite a while and don't know, or, remember the mechanics? That's completely fine.

Know what's not fine though? Standing still in every aoe possible, complain about not getting heals, me having to rez you 3 times in a boss fight thus wasting mp, and not getting out of the pool of bad stuff despite being told numerous times by me and everyone else.

[NekoNova]

Sometimes I feel like this community is getting more and more toxic as time goes on, both in newer and in older content alike. They're not patient with new comers any more, people are way more vocally rude now, everyone is rush rush rush. I get that going content over and over again gets old but if you're not going to be a team player or you're already in a bad mood, perhaps take some time to do things that aren't group activities. Hopefully we can discourage troll like behavior and keep them either off the game or at the very least, unacknowledged and silenced to themselves.

This thread always serves as a wonderful reminder of many things:
1. Some people are just gonna be mean for whatever reason just because and there's nothing you can do about it.
2. Those same people are easily countered by patient people and those with fun, out going personalities making group content more enjoyable. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to just play and have fun and for being understanding of newer or less educated players. Hopefully we can go back to the days where that's more the norm again.

I can't really share that sentiment.
I've run maybe into real rude people once or twice in all the dungeon runs I've been doing.
I don't feel like generalizing, but perhaps it really depends on the datacenter/region?

[Aramina]

I can't really share that sentiment.
I've run maybe into real rude people once or twice in all the dungeon runs I've been doing.
I don't feel like generalizing, but perhaps it really depends on the datacenter/region?

I'd say it was just bad luck. I am on the same server as the person you replied to and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have run into rude people. Or maybe I just have good luck. /shrugs

[Sesera]

Sometimes I feel like this community is getting more and more toxic as time goes on, both in newer and in older content alike. They're not patient with new comers any more, people are way more vocally rude now, everyone is rush rush rush. I get that going content over and over again gets old but if you're not going to be a team player or you're already in a bad mood, perhaps take some time to do things that aren't group activities. Hopefully we can discourage troll like behavior and keep them either off the game or at the very least, unacknowledged and silenced to themselves.

This thread always serves as a wonderful reminder of many things:
1. Some people are just gonna be mean for whatever reason just because and there's nothing you can do about it.
2. Those same people are easily countered by patient people and those with fun, out going personalities making group content more enjoyable. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to just play and have fun and for being understanding of newer or less educated players. Hopefully we can go back to the days where that's more the norm again.

Exactly my feeling I joined in 2016 maybe september I'm not sure and it was amazing.
The novice network was awesome with people laughing and helping around.
In dungeons players were using their cute happy macro when a new player was here because bonus.
PoTD was a chill place with a new way to level up.

But since the end of HW I feel all that changed.
Way less help in novice network
More and more people not greeting and leave as soon as duty ends. (Now I wait for at least one party member to say hello to do the same because I had enough greeting toxic players).
PotD is now often a rush place where people can't bother opening silver chest on the way when you can clearly see that new guy with 5k hp and a greenish weapon.


Obviously it is my personal experience and some might have experienced the opposite.

[MisterMKay]

Tank Advice

The SCH actually didn't say anything to me. Just went ahead and did it. I get I'll see some of those things. I certainly have as a DPS and a Healer before. But I like the communication from whomever if they need something. And I'm guilty of not doing that myself. But I would still hope that it would cross their mind that, "Oh. They're new to this role or this dungeon. Maybe I'll take it easy this time around. Or ask them what they feel comfortable with." I mean, I adjusted as needed, but it became very stressful for me through the dungeon. I haven't touched tank since. (But that's more because I'm doing MSQ and Eureka. lol)