Like Mal said, there was absolutely nothing you could've done in either situation. The first time you completely owned up to your mistake and learned from it, but even after the MT dying it was 100% a fully recoverable situation. OT should've provoked, and the healers should've gotten the MT up asap, but it sounds like they were more busy with blaming you than actually doing their jobs.

The second story I already replied to you int he DF threat but again, that was some serious griefing on both the tanks and healers.

My best advice to you is such - remember that no matter your own attitude, there will be bad players in this game. Worse, there will be bad people in this game. Sadly, they can and will interfere with your gaming experience. If you think there's anything to learn from it, like you did end up learning from both instances, take that and move on. Take a deep breath. Have a drink. Wash your face. Remind yourself this is a game, and they're jerks. Then smile and thank them for sparing you further time to be spent in their presence by kicking you.