What’s the secret to success in this game?

[Super_Bee_Brian]

Very seriously. From your previous posts and things you've talked about, I think you truly believe friends and connections are important - but also that you might not be going about it in a great way.

From your early post about your FC, where you said you were investing all your time into these people and why wouldn't they stay, but I think you may have actually been making them uncomfortable with what you felt was welcoming behaviour, and then feeling like they owed you something because of it.

From the deleted thread where you talked about how you could just get people to give you stuff for free.

And then the "importance of friends" thread you started... by talking about how your friends are important to your experience because they give you stuff.

There seems to be a pattern here, and it's not one that will make you seem like a good friend to others, however much you talk about friends being important in an MMO.

Maybe you do have genuinely wonderful friendships, enjoy each other's company and you're as generous with them as they are with you. But that's not what I'm hearing from you in your posts.

Player connections are important but the way to build them is by helping others. Be generous. Don't make it about what you can get from them. Can you give them something? Help them through a dungeon for MSQ progress? Give advice? Do your daily roulettes together? Play the game with them, and let the connection form naturally if you get along well. Don't insist there has to be a connection just because this is an MMO and you've teamed up with them.

Look at the responses to your friendship post. They're about community and relationships and talking to other people. That's what makes friends important in the game. Not how much free stuff you can get from them.


Relationships are hard, and it's something I've had to learn to some extent. If if doesn't come naturally, you have to actively think about what the other person might be feeling.

I don't care about the well-being of my friends. All that matters in the end is what I can get from them. However, in order to get something from them, I must give something in return first. Which means even though I don't care about them, it still becomes a mutually beneficial relationship because I am forced to give something.

I'm clinically psychopathic and only care about myself. But that's okay because in the end, to get something from people, I am forced to do something for their benefit as well.

No one is getting taken advantage of here. God set up the world in a way where I, Bee Brian, need to maneuver in the social realm in a way that'd benefit everyone in order for me to sate my sadistic desire to use others in my scheme.

I play on a roleplaying server and one of these days, I'll "IC" hire people to conquer Ul'dah with an actual financed army.

[Super_Bee_Brian]

Just kidding. lol

[Super_Bee_Brian]

FYI, I'm on my phone and can't edit my post. Consider the ridiculous one deleted. Sorry about that.

[Iscah]

Well... that's kind of the thing I'm talking about. Is that how you interact with people in the game as well? Make grand 'joking' statements (that people might not find as funny as you think they are) and then turn back and go "just kidding, lol" and expect people to forget you ever said the other thing? It doesn't work that way. Every time you make a 'joke' like that, I'm more put off by it - do you really think that's a funny thing to say? How can I be sure your first post wasn't the truth and the "I was joking, just ignore that" isn't just damage control? Just reading it makes me feel uncomfortable and that you're not someone I'd want to spend time with, because what you seem to consider humour is more repulsive than amusing to me.

If you're losing friends and FC members in the game, and that concerns you, take another look at how you speak to them and about them. I don't think I'd be staying in your FC for very long.


Also, when you start a discussion asking us to be serious, no trolling, and then come out with a speech like that... well, can you see why other people on the forum might be seeing you as the one trying to troll?

[Super_Bee_Brian]

Well... that's kind of the thing I'm talking about. Is that how you interact with people in the game as well? Make grand 'joking' statements (that people might not find as funny as you think they are) and then turn back and go "just kidding, lol" and expect people to forget you ever said the other thing? It doesn't work that way. Every time you make a 'joke' like that, I'm more put off by it - do you really think that's a funny thing to say? How can I be sure your first post wasn't the truth and the "I was joking, just ignore that" isn't just damage control? Just reading it makes me feel uncomfortable and that you're not someone I'd want to spend time with, because what you seem to consider humour is more repulsive than amusing to me.

If you're losing friends and FC members in the game, and that concerns you, take another look at how you speak to them and about them. I don't think I'd be staying in your FC for very long.


Also, when you start a discussion asking us to be serious, no trolling, and then come out with a speech like that... well, can you see why other people on the forum might be seeing you as the one trying to troll?

I recognize not everyone appreciates my humor but most of the time, people just laugh it out instead of complaining. I usually hurl random, ridiculously undeserved insults to people and just tell them I'm kidding. 9 out of 10 times, they'd just laugh.

But seriously, I struggle with my FC. People are very unpredictable. Others become loyal even though they were jerks to me in the beginning. Others were very nice to me in the beginning then leave the next day. It's a never-ending battle.

[Iscah]

I recognize not everyone appreciates my humor but most of the time, people just laugh it out instead of complaining. I usually hurl random, ridiculously undeserved insults to people and just tell them I'm kidding. 9 out of 10 times, they'd just laugh.

This can be to do with understanding social cues. You might assume laughing = all good, but it's not that simple. People can be simultaneously uncomfortable with what you said, but laughing to be polite, or because you seem intimidating and they don't want to get on your bad side, so they won't speak up against you. (and either way, starting to wonder when they can get away and find some actual friends who are nice to them and don't throw insults around for fun.)

If your constant mode of interacting with people is "insult them and say you didn't mean it", the people who will stay will be of a particular type of personality that thinks that's okay, but you'll drive away a lot more people than you'll appeal to. And the people you don't appeal to will probably be thinking you're a very unpleasant person.

Saying you were joking doesn't just erase what you said before.

If you define "people connections" as a measure of success, you're undermining your own chances of actually succeeding.

[Super_Bee_Brian]

This can be to do with understanding social cues. You might assume laughing = all good, but it's not that simple. People can be simultaneously uncomfortable with what you said, but laughing to be polite, or because you seem intimidating and they don't want to get on your bad side, so they won't speak up against you. (and either way, starting to wonder when they can get away and find some actual friends who are nice to them and don't throw insults around for fun.)

If your constant mode of interacting with people is "insult them and say you didn't mean it", the people who will stay will be of a particular type of personality that thinks that's okay, but you'll drive away a lot more people than you'll appeal to. And the people you don't appeal to will probably be thinking you're a very unpleasant person.

Saying you were joking doesn't just erase what you said before.

If you define "people connections" as a measure of success, you're undermining your own chances of actually succeeding.

60% of all the gil I've received in the game came from other players freely giving them to me. I've also developed strong bonds with a certain few. Honestly, I think despite my weakness in the FC department, I've been successful overall

But of course, nobody is perfect. I'm not perfect myself. I've lost just as many friends that I've gained.

[Super_Bee_Brian]

This can be to do with understanding social cues. You might assume laughing = all good, but it's not that simple. People can be simultaneously uncomfortable with what you said, but laughing to be polite, or because you seem intimidating and they don't want to get on your bad side, so they won't speak up against you. (and either way, starting to wonder when they can get away and find some actual friends who are nice to them and don't throw insults around for fun.)

If your constant mode of interacting with people is "insult them and say you didn't mean it", the people who will stay will be of a particular type of personality that thinks that's okay, but you'll drive away a lot more people than you'll appeal to. And the people you don't appeal to will probably be thinking you're a very unpleasant person.

Saying you were joking doesn't just erase what you said before.

If you define "people connections" as a measure of success, you're undermining your own chances of actually succeeding.

Anyway, I just wanna say thanks for your advice. Much appreciated. Your posts were helpful.

[Joejr23]

First there is a problem with your success requirements. That is that until a few years ago there wasn’t as many ways to get exp quickly I speak as someone who has played this game since it about 2 or 3 months after it launched. So while I spent more time getting my classes to where they are now than some of the newer people it doesn’t mean I am not successful. With that out of the way my advice is patience and diversity. I say that because it is easy to get burned out grinding a class as a opposed to switching between your favorite and your second favorite and so on and so forth. I hope this helps.

[MomomiMomi]

I'm surprised the most obvious answer hasn't been given yet.

The secret to success is to not play the game. You must LIVE IT. Every waking moment must be spent in the game. It must become your reality.

This will get you the most wealth, progress, and people connections. True story.