(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[Ilan]

@OP It is simply not about what you want. What you are trying to do, by your own admission, is prescribe methods for being optimal because it's gratifying to you. This is how you elect to spend your time. What escapes you then is that not everyone has the same aim/goals as you for when they join. Some people are content to not bother themselves with the effort required to be optimal but have more fun just playing it loose. Or some people prefer to learn things at their own pace and having other people dictate to them is distracting.

Point is, offering help is beautiful, but only when it's specifically asked for. If it's not being asked for, it shouldn't be baffling to imagine ways it can be seen as imposing instead. To the argument that they're impeding the party, then by all means, vote dismiss. That said, it's my belief that it's not our place to tell other people how to use their time unless they ask directly. For the 27 people who liked your post, this escapes them as well.

If people wouldn't be such special snowflakes and would actually be interested in what they do they would take every help if they don't know better doesn't matter if they asked for it or if a friendly player offers the help. But here in FF the "YOU DON'T PAY MA SUB" people are somewhat a huge part of the community.

[AxlStream]

As a mentor, I often feel like I am the idiot for trying to help players on this game.

[Camiie]

Unsolicited advice happens when you are incompetent at your job. Easiest way to avoid these occurrences is to be competent.

Being dead weight and causing wipes thus wasting time and effort is a hell of a lot more rude than being told what to do.

Please pardon my unsolicited advice, but I wouldn't recommend that philosophy out in the real world where you don't have the protection of physical distance and anonymity.

[Crystal_Raven]

If people wouldn't be such special snowflakes and would actually be interested in what they do they would take every help if they don't know better doesn't matter if they asked for it or if a friendly player offers the help. But here in FF the "YOU DON'T PAY MA SUB" people are somewhat a huge part of the community.

The whole "you don't pay my sub" thing works both ways.

I don't pay your sub, so you can use that to tell me to f off, OK. You don't pay my sub, therefore I will remove you from the party to so you do not waste the party members time and my time.

You is used as a general term, not you personally.

Please pardon my unsolicited advice, but I wouldn't recommend that philosophy out in the real world where you don't have the protection of physical distance and anonymity.

I'm not much different in real life. At my real life job I've directly called multiple coworkers stupid for not understanding something basic they learn in the first week of training which without knowing, you will be useless in the line of work i'm in.

[Elliebird]

Please pardon my unsolicited advice, but I wouldn't recommend that philosophy out in the real world where you don't have the protection of physical distance and anonymity.

It's not too far off from real world expectations. If you're performing a task and you're doing something incorrectly, there are a few things that'll happen. You'll get scolded, you'll be given advice how to do it properly, or no one will care because apathy.

If anything, people have more reason to be lax about this in FFXIV than they would in the 'real world', because the consequences of messing up out there are much different than in an online game. If someone messes up here, the worst that happens is that it wastes people's time. That's not a good thing, but it's still relatively harmless when you think about all the things that could go wrong outside of a video game. People will hold eachother to higher standards when it's not a game and the task they're performing matters more.

[Ilan]

The whole "you don't pay my sub" thing works both ways.

I don't pay your sub, so you can use that to tell me to f off, OK. You don't pay my sub, therefore I will remove you from the party to so you do not waste the party members time and my time.

You is used as a general term, not you personally.

I know you didn't mean me and i agree with you.

The part that these people don't get is that everyone pays a sub and that they are not the kings/queens of this game and if they start ruining the fun for the other group members, they'll get kicked...and probably run straight to the forum and complain that they've got kicked or report the other players for kick abuse.

[Linx0r]

This is what I do: I only give advice if asked and if I'm not happy with a party I leave.

Keep it simple.



I advise against this, it feels like you are speaking to a child.

Uh children actually do play this game FYI

[Linx0r]

The whole "you don't pay my sub" thing works both ways.

I don't pay your sub, so you can use that to tell me to f off, OK. You don't pay my sub, therefore I will remove you from the party to so you do not waste the party members time and my time.

You is used as a general term, not you personally.



I'm not much different in real life. At my real life job I've directly called multiple coworkers stupid for not understanding something basic they learn in the first week of training which without knowing, you will be useless in the line of work i'm in.

You must not be a good lawyer. Lol trying to resolve this issue by kicking people solves nothing. Does it make you feel proud you ‘kicked ‘ someOne from the GAME? Lol it’s a game and a dungeon takes 15 min. Play though and maybe try some positive reinforcement

[Theodric]

It doesn't really matter if it's a 'game'. It's not a single player experience that we're dealing with but rather a multiplayer experience. In other words, it's a group effort and there's the time of multiple players at stake. If someone isn't pulling their weight then they risk being called out. Constructive criticism should be embraced but if there's one thing I've learned from this community it's that a considerable portion of players like to overreact to even the most humble piece of feedback. It's a sad reflection of modern society, I suppose - and it's also why Japanese players have higher clear rates than EU and NA players on average. They take feedback into account and value working together.

[HyoMinPark]

Let's start addressing this long post with one word: connotation. The same word can have very different connotations. When I used the word 'job,' I was very clearly using the word in the connotation of paid employment. If you choose to fixate on this word, invoke a different connotation, and go into off-topic tangents, good for you I guess?

And Crystal_Raven was using it as in the job you play in this game. You were the one who brought up the real-life connotation of “job”:

Unsolicited advice happens when you are incompetent at your job. Easiest way to avoid these occurrences is to be competent.

Yes, because unsolicited advice only occurs in the work place, right?

Look, if you're being paid to do a job, and you're doing it poorly, then yes, you can't complain about being told what to do. That is just the nature of paid employment in results-based businesses. Yet when it comes to a game, a leisure activity, or a hobby? Yes, that unsolicited advice is very rude, which is why you see more negative reactions to it than positive. It's really amazing that in social games (like MMOs) that so many players (the advice givers) cannot grasp this basic social tenet.

Hence why they corrected you.