(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[Jijifli]

I am a Mentor. A mentor who didn't just pick the status up because it was some pretty little crown on my head. I wanted to help, give tips, help people improve.

I'm getting to a point where I'm at no patience anymore.

Someone, please, explain to me why ANY advice is taken as some criminal offence. It doesn't matter what the advice is about. It could be basic rotations, could be stats, could be how to handle X mechanic properly, it doesn't matter. I've been ignored, lashed at, even harassed OUTSIDE THE DUNGEON over it.

The new trial is a wonderful example of this. First group I was in tried a strat, that looked to be too punishing on the group, as nobody was running to the correct spots that were pre-set. I dared to give an advice on trying to use it based on direction instead, saying it'd make it easier for, say, our dps knowing they just always run left rather than a letter they forgot the spot for. Was followed by harassment over DARING to question the party leader's strat.

I've also been getting parties with plenty of players in expert who clearly have no idea what their kit is. An example is a DRG that was never using Chaos Thrust, nor Heavy Thrust. Asked them to do it, basically got called some no life who needs a chill pill, and the tank said to ignore me, cussing at me, because I just asked the DRG to use a few extra abilities.

It's at a point I'm going to lose it on someone. I already had a close situation. And I even ALREADY took a 1 month break from any group content back in 4.1. Why is advice grounds for someone to harass me at this point? I'm only doing the role I was given, a mentor, trying to teach people!


Tl;Dr: I'm being treated like a criminal in parties for daring to help, and it's driving me insane.

[HyoMinPark]

I think it’s that a lot of people do not want to try and adapt to anything that they are not used to. For example, maybe the leader and anyone defending his strat are used to that strat and not interested in learning any other ones. Had a healer like this in one of my runs—we were doing the strat that BokChoy was doing on his stream to help with uptime (since we were running triple-melee; I believe it’s called “small triangle strat” or something like that...all these strats are beginning to run together, I’ve done so many), and the healer was just completely unwilling to even try it. Even though he just went to stand on the marker on the crescent side of the field. Left without even letting us propose switching to cardinal strat to make things easier for them (we’d only done 1 pull).

Some people do not want to adapt. Others don’t like to think they’re trying to be proven wrong, or have their knowledge of something questioned.

[Magic-Mal]

There is no real explanation sadly. Just don't help players. It's a waste of time and you can either leave, kick them, or deal with them. :/

[Jijifli]

There is no real explanation sadly. Just don't help players. It's a waste of time and you can either leave, kick them, or deal with them. :/

I already nearly snapped on my alt just leveling through SB content. I'm afraid I'm gonna end up skipping the capping on him this week and maybe even next week just so I don't say something seriously hostile. He can't even do the story because he isn't geared enough and the crafted gear is super expensive. So much for the character that was meant to help me relax as a dps instead of healing...

[LaurieB]

I wish it hadn't affected you all this way. I look to mentors and more experienced people than me to work my way through the game. I suppose it will be harder to ask for advice now. I always hoped that one day when I felt I was geared and ready for the new content that I could get a run with a mentor that would advise on the best course to take, my rotations, gear and then I might feel like I could do it. As it stands, no...I haven't tried it yet. I hope you all don't give up on all of us. I appreciate you so much!!

[Usho]

Majority of players can't take advice or when you give them advice they get butthurt and think you are telling them what to do, and as a result they lash out at you because they know you are better than them and they know you are right, but tiny brains can't process that due to ego.


Just let them be bad. They'll learn the hard way.

[Fawkes]

Tone doesn't come across well over the internet, so if you're not prefixing everything you say with "Hey, sorry, not trying to be rude here, but I was wondering if you might want to try ______" then people are probably going to assume you're saying it as angrily as possible. I think that's just become everyone's default expectation for strangers talking to them online.

[Crystal_Raven]

People don't want to learn, they don't want to improve, adapt, learn anything new.

They want to be average or below average and be praised for it. I used to try to teach people, but i'm just done. On lvl 60 and higher dungeons when I meet players who don't understand basic mechanics and rotations, I will simply have them kicked from the party, a good healer is infinitely more valuable than a DPS or a tank that doesn't understand their job. And contrary to popular belief, on dungeons lower than 70, a tank is not needed. Get yourself a good healer and you can just have the DPS or the healer tank.

OP, i've spent the better part of 7 years on MMORPGS, FPS games and so on teaching people as I usually end up being highly competent at whatever I play. One thing I learned, don't bother. The majority does not want to learn, ignorance is bliss. For the 1-2 that are willing to learn, it is not worth it to go through thousands of hostile players that treat you like a genocidal maniac for offering advice. I've seen the same in this game.

[Penthea]

Honestly it's better to keep things to yourself unless the issue is making the content impossible to do. I see people play badly all the time but it's just not worth the hassle of dealing with the drama of unwelcome and/or unrequested advice when you can just ignore it and finish the content without much trouble.

I have found people are rarely receptive to advice unless it's painfully clear that a huge problem is taking place. When an obstacle cannot be passed, people are more likely to consider other options because they have no other choice unless they want to leave.

And some people can't take any criticism no matter how it is presented to them.

[Sylvina]

I have only rarely encountered this, and I haven't let it stop me from nicely offering advice when applicable. It is pretty dumb to yell at someone who's just trying to help, especially if they're being polite.