I still remember the first thread I read from you TC. "This community should improve because the average level is too low", or something along those lines... this thread is quite a twist from that one. You went from "complaining" about others to feeling miserable yourself.
The community wasn't a problem right then just like you aren't doing anything wrong right now either.
With some effort and commitment you'll get good DPS with SMN. All it takes is confidence and practice (the first is obtained by the latter). First and foremost, you need to know your rotation well (or in case of SMN, your priorities), don't get that wrong or you'll see yourself mechanizing an inefficient rotation (and then you might have some trouble correcting bad habits).

Once you are aware of what to press and when, it all boils down to repeating it as many times as possible (against dummies, bosses, SB hunts, anything you can hit for a reasonable amount of time). You'll eventually get so used to it that you won't care how good you've become and instead you'll want to play another job .

PS: Be careful with FFlogs because it can be deceiving. Your percentiles there greatly depend on your party setup, how generous is the boss in not screwing you up with mechanics and most importantly how geared you are.