Honestly, #5 sounds like heaven to me
Seriously though, it feels like you've forgotten how big a deal gear makes to 'expert' dungeons. The biggest reason why we can chew through them so effortlessly is because for the most part, we outgear them, significantly. That's not a luxury we have during the levelling dungeons and as such, you really need to adapt accordingly.
Don't get me wrong, you've probably seen me singing the praises of just how much damage a healer can do in a 4 man dungeon, but at the end of the day, you're a healer and there's times when you've just got to suck it up and actually heal if and when the need arrises (Which it does in levelling dungeons, frequently). This isn't anything new, the Dusk Vigil in SB was also a huge wakeup call for healers especially with the huge wave of super squishy DRKs on launch.
If you feel that your gear isn't up to scratch for the pulls the tank is likely to make, that's on you, it takes a few seconds to type '/p Hey, I'm new here and my gear isn't very good yet, go easy please' or some such and most people will understand and adjust accordingly.
I've had literally one dungeon wipe in recent memory where I quite literally couldn't keep up with the healing requirement (Bardams 3 pack at the start on my lvl 60 geared SCH), and even then that was a combination of me getting caught napping and not having enough aetherflow charges on hand to save it right at the start of the dungeon. Had I been on the ball and positioned better, or had it happened on the second pull or onwards I suspect I could have saved things.
That sort of situation is precisely why I love playing the healer so much. You can always react quicker, preempt better and act more efficiently. Rather than pointing the finger at others, ask yourself, what could I have done better there? I guarantee that with some shadowplay recordings or such, you'll have seen very very few if any situations in levelling dungeons that you couldn't have salvaged with a bit more talent and experience.
As for your suggestion of limiting pulls to single packs? No thanks. Whilst I do think SE do need to take note of some of their trash inconsistencies in levelling dungeons, healing is one of the few aspects of this game that isn't entirely dumbed down to fit the lowest common denominator and frankly, it's one of the few facets of this game where you can truly fail in casual content. I can't stress enough how boring your suggestion would make expert for me, and I can't see myself being alone on this one =(
*edit* oh and regarding the dungeon length thing:
My fastest - 11minute temple
My slowest - 30 minute Ala Mhigo (With no wipes amusingly)
It's worth noting that even with no wipes, that Ala Mhigo could well have stretched into 40+ minutes if I hadn't have been DPSing as well.




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