Yes it is still against the terms of service, although I don't know how aggressive they are about enforcing it. If the timer was active atm the moment I'd say let your house auto demolish but I believe it is still turned off because of the hurricanes earlier in the year. The only other suggestion I can make is wait until they announce what exactly the planed for changes to the housing system in 3.2 as the ability to relinquish your house for a refund has been a requested feature (also they might turn the timer back on in 3.2).

If you transferring to a preferred server I believe there is a way to get a partial refund for the cost of the plot.